


When Life Gives You Skeletons

by xxreaperxx94



Category: Fellswap - Fandom, Underfell - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game), underswap
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Gay/Lesbian Side-romance, Harem Romance, Human on human violence, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Some characters may not behave as they are originally intended, Stalker, human on monster violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-05 13:24:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13388733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxreaperxx94/pseuds/xxreaperxx94
Summary: Paige's life was simple and somewhat boring, monster friends and hectic job aside. But all that changes when Undyne asks her to drop off some books at a fellow monsters house and she finally meets the skelebros.This is a slow burn fic - comedy, drama, angst, and terrible match-making ahead. Don't worry, there will eventually be lots of fluff and maybe some smexy times while we're at it!





	1. Matchmakers At Work

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9816140) by [Tyrant_Tortoise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyrant_Tortoise/pseuds/Tyrant_Tortoise). 



> Alright, be gentle with me here people. I am a seasoned veteran when it comes to reading many a fanfiction but this will be my first time actually posting one. :) I would love to hear if there is any feedback - good or bad is fine, but don't be an ass for the sake of being an ass. I write quite a lot so I will try to update a couple times a week but you are guaranteed at least once a week. Thank you so much for reading!

People always had their favorite season. For Paige, it was that small period of transition between Summer and Fall. The leaves were changing colors, the days were getting shorter, and just that slight bit of chill in the air made for perfect sweater weather. Not to mention it set ideal conditions for taking long walks through town and sitting in a café with friends. At present, this is exactly what Paige was planning, heading through town towards a new up and coming café called Muffet’s. Work pretty much took over her life and she didn’t really get a lot of time for friends. This was something that desperately needed to change, starting today of course, because she missed her best friend something fierce.  
A faint jingle erupted from the pocket of her jeans, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth at hearing the cheerful foreign words. Some anime that Alphys had insisted she watch. The intro was her favorite part and was thus set as her ringtone. A quick glance at the screen told her that it was exactly the timid monster she’d been thinking about. 

“Hey Alphys, what’s up?”

“O-Oh, Paige, you answered!” 

Paige snorted and quickly cleared her throat to respond. “Well, that is the point of a making a phone call. Why would you think I wouldn’t answer?”  
They’d had met months ago in a local book store, bumped into each other in the same aisle stammering apologies, and promptly exchanged numbers. The short yellow monster girl was always so reserved and shy that she could hardly speak into the receiver when they had first started calling each other. Texting on the other hand was almost constant. Phone calls were pretty much reserved for emergencies or special occasions. 

“R-Right! I knew that!” A small pause and some shuffling in the background. Sounded like…plastic wrap? Was she opening something? “I wanted to call you because my express package just came in the mail! I ordered the entire series of a new anime! W-We can watch it tonight if you d-don’t have anything to do!”

“The package came?! Oh my god, Alphys, yes! I will totally splurge on snacks tonight if you think you can pull an all-nighter!” The brunette fished into her messenger bag, struggling to find her wallet. Damn, how much money had she gotten on her last paycheck? She was pretty sure she would have enough to buy a small amount of junk food for a movie night.

“Wait, r-really? Yes! C-Can you come over around 5:30? Oh, Undyne will be here too, is that okay?”

“Of course, you know I love Undyne! The more the merrier, right? Besides, I’m sure she’ll want to watch it too.”

She had quickly found out after becoming friends with Alphys that her girlfriend was almost as crazy about anime as she was herself. After finding out about some giant sword that Alphys had created for her, Paige found that she’d thought anime was a real interpretation of human culture. As it was, she really didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was fictional. Watching the tall fish monster get so excited was endearing in a way, and Paige didn’t miss the way that Alphys would stare at her once she started ranting about something she liked. 

“Great! I-I’ll see you tonight then!” Alphys gushed over the phone, the excitement palpable in her voice. 

“Okay, see you later Alphys!”

Paige quickly hung up and checked the time on the screen. It was almost 1:00 now so that would give her enough time to hang out at the café for a few hours and go to the store before heading to Alphys’ house. Sliding the phone back into her pocket, she stopped and looked around for the giant purple sign that adorned the front of the café. Okay so there’s the candle place and there’s the auto body shop. Purple sign, purple sign, where is the purple sign? Ah! Muffet’s!

She straightened her jacket and opened the glass door, hearing the small bell chime on the ceiling overhead. The place looked like a cross between a vintage café and a bar. The floors were white and lilac checkered tiles with bright purple booths lining the walls and tall tables with barstools going down the very center. At the very back of the small café was a long purple counter. She couldn’t tell whether it was purple polish on wood or maybe some kind of glass tabletop. It was hard to tell at first glance. And…was that a juke box? They still made those?

Pushing her bangs out of her face, Paige turned and spotted the familiar tan ears popping up behind one of the booths along the wall. Looks like the cat monster hadn’t noticed her presence yet. With a sly grin she into the booth, throwing her arms over his shoulders with a loud squeal.

“BP!! I haven’t seen you since yesterday!!” The brunette gushed, delighted by the startled howl that came from the cat monster.

“Stars, Paige! You could kill a guy doing that!” He stammered, paw pressed to his chest as his fur stood on end. He looked for all the world like a bristling housecat and that alone was enough to cause her to smile so hard that her cheeks hurt. 

“Aww, I’m sorry.” She smirked and slid out of the booth to sit across from him. “You looked so out of it, I wanted to see if I could catch you off guard. Aren’t cats supposed to have this crazy sixth sense or something?”

He narrowed his eyes and fiddled absently with the phone in his paws. “I wouldn’t know. Not a real cat, remember?”

“You could’ve fooled me.” 

Paige picked up one of the small menus on the table and started scanning through the options. There were a surprising number of deserts and pastries available, half of them sounded…not so edible. Spider donuts? Some of them were familiar enough, your usual cakes and cupcakes and rolls.

“Please tell me that these don’t have real spiders in them. Is this all monster food?”

“Well, it’s a mixture of both from what I’ve heard.” Burgerpants leaned over to get a look at what she was referring to. “I’ve only ever eaten the monster food here, so I can’t vouch for the human stuff.”

“Eh, guess I’ll try something new. I think I’m going to go with the Spider Donut. I mean, it’s not like it’ll kill me, right?”

The sly cat was glancing around and avoiding trying very hard to avoid her gaze, paws nervously picking at a straw wrapper. A chill went up her spine, causing goosebumps to raise along the skin on her body. She shuttered and stole a quick glanced over her shoulder at the purple-clad spider woman currently standing behind the counter. 

“BP! It’s not actually going to kill me is it?!”

“Well…”

“Jesus, are you serious?! Why did you bring me here?!”

The cat monster guffawed and started howling with laughter. He doubled over and clutched his sides with both paws, tears starting to run through the fur on his cheeks. Crossing her arms tightly over my chest, the young woman looked around at the other patrons who were now staring at thier booth.

“BP…”

His laughter continued, with his voice getting slightly more hysterical and hoarse the longer he went. 

“Burgerpants!”

BP gasped for air and wiped a tear from his eye, holding up a paw as he tried to collect himself. He cleared his throat and in stark contrast to his previous laughing fit, stated calmly in a clear voice like he wasn’t just dying of laughter two seconds ago, “No, you’ll be fine. It won’t do anything to you.”

“Dude! That is so not cool!”

“Payback for scaring me out of my fur earlier! I swear I only have 4 lives left after that!”

“4 lives, my ass! I thought you weren’t a real cat!”

BP held up a finger and opened his mouth to shout another retort, however he stopped short at her words and seemed to think for a minute. “Alright, touché.” 

“HA!”

 

~*~

 

“So, Paige…”

The woman in question paused mid-chew on her mouthful of potato chips to look up at the smiling fish woman. No enjoyable conversation started with Undyne saying ‘So, Paige…’

“About that guy I was telling you about…”

She immediately swallowed the mouthful; sharp bits of chip be damned. “Oh, hell no! There is no way I am letting you set me up on a blind date again, Undyne!”

For some reason her love life – or lack thereof – was a fascination to the fish monster and her girlfriend. Apparently, the fact that Paige hadn’t had a functioning relationship in 3 years was a tragedy where the two romantics were concerned. The last time Undyne brought it up, she had ended up being forced out her front door to a restaurant with some guy that frequented the same gym Undyne went to. Turns out the guy was one of those Jersey Shore wannabees that only had interest in his tan and his next workout. Needless to say, the date was cut short. The one before that had been someone that Alphys worked with – the kid was tall and scrawny, could barely utter two words to her, and refused to look her in the eye. He also did not get another date. 

“Come on, hear me out for this one!” Undyne pulled her arm from over her girlfriend’s shoulders and leaned forward with a serious expression. “I know it hasn’t come up before, but you seem to pretty open minded about most things – monsters included. So, would you ever consider going out with one?”

This made her pause. It’s not something that she’d ever given much thought to. Overall, she had no problems befriending or interacting with monsters. In fact, she liked monsters better than humans most days. That said, she wouldn’t say that she would be averse to it. “Yeah, I guess I could be open to it. No offense, but it would really depend on who it is though. I don’t think I’d be able to go out with a Moldsmal or Vegetoid.” She grimaced. Part of her wanted to feel bad, but another louder part of her kept quiet and recoiled from the thought of dating what was basically a giant jiggling gelatin. 

“Nah, nothing like that! I swear!” Undyne crowed, slapping Paige’s shoulder playfully. 

She winced and rubbed her arm to take away the sting. Darn fish lady was way stronger than she let on… “Okay, so say that I was to go along with this again. Who exactly are we talking about here?” Paige inquired seriously. Undyne usually got her way so she might as well just go along with it for now and save herself some time. 

“W-Well, he’s someone we’ve known since the Underground and he’s a very close friend. There are a few we want you to meet actually.” Alphys muttered as she continued to watch the movie. “If you don’t m-mind that is…”

A few? Just how many guys were they talking about here? Nevertheless, Paige shook her head and sighed with resignation, smiling up at her friends. “Why not. Just please tell me he isn’t going to be weird like the last one. That guy was kind of…obsessive.”

Undyne had to decency to look somewhat apologetic. “Yeah, that one was on us. We didn’t realize that he would be so pushy.”

“This is the best part! You guys are missing it!” Alphys exclaimed and sat forward on the couch, her eyes glazing over as she took in the scene on the tv.   
Both women shared a look over Alphys’ head and smiled. Undyne put her arm back over her girlfriends shoulder and pulled her closer. Paige smiled as she watched them, feeling an ache settle in her chest at the thought of having something similar.


	2. Books Bring People Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paige has an encounter with a suspicious man at work and gets asked a favor by Undyne. We finally meet the skelebros!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, folks! Chapter 2! We finally get to meet the skelebros! Sorry if some of them don't behave the way you normally see them, but I do have my own thoughts on their behavior and mannerisms. :) Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Another month had come and gone since that night at Alphys’ house. This was a month of nothing but turning down meetings for dates and invitations to meet up with friends due to a buildup of work. She’d already had a pretty full schedule as it was, but the only other hospital in the city had closed down, causing the one she worked at to take one twice the normal number of patients to make up for it. Paige sighed as she sat in the hospital cafeteria, sandwich in one hand and phone in the other. 

Alphys  
Are you busy this Friday?

Me  
Yeah, I promised I would find some time   
to hang out with BP. Saturday maybe?

Alphys  
Saturday works! How about the mall by the highway?

Me  
Sounds great! Let me know what time and I’ll meet you!

Looks like she now had plans for the weekend. It had been awhile though, and she really did need to get out more. Paige went to slip her phone back into the pocket of her scrubs when it chimed again. Looking down at the screen she was a little perplexed to see that it was Undyne that was texting her. They never really texted much, just had contact through Alphys, however that didn’t stop her from getting her number just in case she needed to reach out to her for anything.

Undyne  
Yo, punk! Alphys said you had work today!  
I was hoping you might be able to do me a favor!

Me  
What kind of favor?

Undyne  
Nothing bad, I promise! You’re always so suspicious!

Me  
I have reason to be most of the time!

Undyne  
I just need you to drop something off at a friend’s house!   
Nothing bad, just a few books that Alphys forgot to deliver!

Me  
I don’t get off work until 3:00. I don’t mind as   
long as it can wait until then.

Undyne  
Perfect! I’ll leave them at the hospital with your   
Nurse friend! I’ll text you the address! Thanks, nerd!

Me  
No problem, Undyne. And I’m not a nerd!!

“Paige, your break has been over for 10 minutes! Let’s go, we’ve got work to do!”

She stiffened and looked up from the screen to see a stoutly middle-aged woman in scrubs standing in the entrance to the cafeteria with her arms crossed. 

“Come on, I’m not covering for you all morning!” She groused with a roll of her bright hazel eyes and turned to start walking away.

Paige jumped up and tossed the last of the sandwich into the trash before jogging to catch up. “Sorry! I got a little sidetracked!”

“Don’t say sorry to me, honey. You’re the one with 5 people waiting to get their scans done.” She sighed and shook her head. “I swear, we’ve had more people coming in with fractures and breaks in the last month than I’ve seen in years.”

That definitely caught her attention. She’d only been working at the hospital for maybe 3 years, but Diane had been here for nearly 15. “Why do you think that is? I find it hard to believe that this is the worst you’ve seen.”

“I don’t know, sweetheart, but it’s the truth. Some of these people coming in here are pretty rough. Not the worst condition I’ve seen them in, but it’s a lot more than this hospital is used to.”

“Yeah, but why? If it’s unusual then wouldn’t there have to be a reason for it?” 

Paige stepped into her small corner office and pulled on the pristine white lab coat with a frown. She’d always hated the way it contrasted so brightly against the standard dark purple scrubs. Her superintendent was always hounding her about looking as professional as possible – even going as far as to bring it up to one of the hospitals benefactors at a meeting with the board.

“Honestly, I think it has to do with some of the more…radical people in the city. You’ve seen the news, you know how it is too. There are a lot of people out there now that just don’t like monsters.” 

Diane fiddled with the silver ring on her finger and shuffled one of her feet. Paige had worked with Diane long enough to know that it was something she did out of habit when she was worried or uneasy. The problem with that is that very few things could get her worked up enough to feel that way. Whatever worried her to that point was enough to set the brunette on edge.

 

~*~

 

Dear God, Undyne wanted her to take all of these?! The end of her shift at the hospital seemed to come quickly enough with the onslaught of people in the waiting room. Why so many people suddenly needed to have x-rays done was beyond her, but at least she got paid for it. Undyne had dropped off the books with Diane – much to the older woman’s surprise – and texted the address to her phone. Oddly enough, the house wasn’t too far from where Paige lived, being only a few blocks away. The fish woman had ended up leaving 13 books, a few of them were smaller but majority of them were massive! Some of the covers revealed that they were more so based around science and theory. They actually looked similar to the textbooks she’d used to have to lug around when going to med school.

The brunette sighed and stacked them as much as she could and attempted to lift them. She huffed and strained, feeling the resistance and stretch of muscles that didn’t normally get used. Jesus, really?! She groaned and looked out the automated glass doors to her small black Jeep. This would probably be easier if she took a few different trips instead of trying to be macho about it and take one. Either way, it was better than throwing out her back. 

“Do you want some help with that?”

Paige turned and noticed a young man with dark eyes and blonde hair standing behind her, hands lifted slightly as if to offer to take the load of literature from her aching arms. She smiled and shook her head. “No, thank you. I appreciate it, but I’m fine.”

He returned her smile with one of his own and stepped closer, eyeing up the stack thoughtfully. She couldn’t help but notice the dull yellow tint to them. Smokers teeth. “Are you sure? It would get done a lot faster if I helped you out. I really don’t mind.”

She sighed but kept her smile, although it felt a little tight on her face. She felt a small twinge of irritation and tried to quell her sudden attitude. There was no point in getting angry, he was only trying to help. Still, something about his forwardness unsettled her. He wasn’t employed at the hospital. Which meant that he was here to be treated or was with someone who was. “I said no, sir. Again, thank you, but I can do it on my own.”

“Come on, now you’re just being difficult. What’s the harm in just helping to carry some books to your car?”

A shadow fell over Paige and she turned in time to see a large man wearing dark blue scrubs. “Is there a problem here?”

She felt her tense shoulders relax at the familiar voice. “No, Jeremy, everything is fine. I was just telling this gentleman that I appreciate his offer, but I’m perfectly capable of carrying some books without any help.”

Jeremy, a tall beefier fellow with a tight man-bun, eyed the blonde still standing there, though his smile was now gone, and nodded his head calmly at her words. “And you, sir? Is there something I can help you with?”

The blonde looked Jeremy up and down, appearing to carefully think over his response, an almost cold look settling over his face. The transition from the warm smile he’d worn earlier made Paige’s skin crawl uncomfortably. “No, thank you. I’m uh…just waiting for a friend. Thanks.”

Paige glared as he walked back towards the seats in the waiting room, stopped and watched the screen on the TV for a moment, and then left through the exit. So much for waiting for a friend. 

“Want some help, Paige?”

She looked back up at Jeremy and smiled gratefully. She could only imagine what else the guy would have said or done the more his offer was declined. He seemed nice enough with his smile and kind words. But seeing the expression on his face change told her that he was someone that didn’t like being turned down.

“No, that’s fine. Thanks, Jeremy.” She glanced over her shoulder back towards her waiting car. It was one of the first in the lot by employee parking, but after the small altercation she was left uneasy. Suddenly the few feet it would take her to get to her door seemed like a mile. “But, if you wouldn’t mind keeping an eye out for that guy? I just don’t want him to end up coming back and cornering me at my car…”

Jeremy smiled reassuringly, giving her a thumbs-up and leaning against the front counter with his gaze set firmly on her Jeep. “Yeah, of course. I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

Paige smiled and took the time to start carrying the books out to her car a few at a time, making sure to keep an eye out for the odd man. Jeremy watching out for her did a lot to calm her sudden bout of nerves but in the end, it turned out to be unnecessary. Neither one of them spotted the creep after he initially left. She waved to Jeremy as she drove past the door and went on her way to drop off her books. 

After 20 minutes she was pulled up alongside the building and was almost struck speechless. Same as Alphys and Undyne’s own house, it was a rather large. Three floors with a spacious front and back yard and what looked like a storage shed in the back – large enough to be seen from the street around front. As big as the property looked it still looked somewhat modest. Paige pulled up into the driveway and grabbed a few books to carry up to the door – no sense in an extra trip – and pushed the doorbell. It sounded like there was some crashing and yelling before the door was suddenly swung open with so much force that it hit the wall with a loud crack. Paige jumped back and stumbled, struggling to catch the books that had started falling from her hands. 

“HUMAN! HELLO! HOW CAN THE GREAT PAPYRUS HELP YOU TODAY?”

The brunette winced at the volume of the voice and looked up in shock to see a skeleton standing in the doorway. A literal skeleton. Wearing what looked like a white and red padded shirt and blue shorts over a black body suit. A massive red scarf was looped around his neck that billowed alongside him. What the…there wasn’t even a breeze!

“Who’s at the door, bro?”

Yet another skeleton – albeit this one much shorter and looking a little on the chubby side – appeared in the open doorway to stare at her. 

“Uh…hi?”

Fantastic job, Paige. Brilliant response. 

“HELLO, HUMAN! WHY HAVE YOU COME TO VISIT US?”

Christ, another one?! Another short skeleton made his entrance, standing on the other side of the taller one, appearing to have dressed much the same way only in shades of grey and light blue. I couldn’t help but stare as I noticed the bring blue stars glowing within his eye sockets. Was that something pertinent to just skeleton monsters? It was her first time seeing that particular feature. Realizing she was still blatantly staring in silent, she cleared my throat. She should have known they were going to be monsters considering they were friends of Alphys and Undyne, but she could honestly say that she was not expecting a house full of living skeletons. “Um…my name is Paige. I’m a friend of Alphys and Undyne. They asked me if I could drop off some books.”

The short one in the blue hoodie stepped forward to take the books from her hands and she couldn’t help but watch the way the bones of his hand moved. After skimming the covers a look of understanding dawned on him. “Oh yeah, we’ve been waiting for these. Thanks, kid. I’m guessing you have a lot more of these?”

Paige relaxed a bit and nodded in confirmation. “Yeah, she dropped them off with me earlier. There were quite a lot and I didn’t have a box or anything so they’re all just kind of piled up in my backseat.”

“OH, WE CAN HELP WITH THOSE!”

The taller skeleton raised a gloved hand proudly in the air and beamed happily down at her before walking over to the car and opening the rear door. The short excitable one followed suit and carried a much larger stack than she would’ve guessed he’d been able to carry. In a single trip they’d managed to get all of the books out of the backseat and into the house. 

“Whoa…you guys are pretty strong. It took me a few trips to get those loaded up and even then, it was hard not to just carry one or two at a time.” She marveled. 

“WE HAVE RIGOROUS TRAINING SCHEDULES!” Tall and sweet smiled from the doorway before suddenly looking aghast. “OH, I’M SO SORRY! WE ARE BEING SO RUDE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN FOR SOME TEA?”

“Oh, I’m fine, but thank you! I just showed up out of the blue and I don’t want to intrude.” Paige smiled back, trying to keep from laughing at the absolutely comical expression on his face. Who would have guessed that the bones of the face could move and be so expressive? 

“Nah, you’re alright kid. Come on in, we were just about to start making lunch.”  
She jumped, only just noticing the figure standing in the doorway behind the other three. He was tall like the skeleton that had initially opened the door but wore tan cargo shorts and an orange hoodie. At first glance he looked pretty laid back, almost bored actually. But there was an underlying sharpness that she could detect hidden in his expression that spoke volumes. Clearly, he heard and saw more than he let on.

“Uh…sure. I guess a short visit won’t hurt.” She stammered and followed behind them into the house. She looked up at Mr. Orange and held out a hand, which he took after a short pause. “Paige Moore. I’m a friend of Alphys and Undyne.”

“Call me Stretch. You already met my little bro, Blue.” He replied in a deep tenor. For a skeleton he certainly had a nice voice. “You already met Paps and Sans?”

“Who?” She asked dumbly. 

“ME!”

Ah, tall and sweet was Paps, or Papyrus. She’d nearly forgotten that he’d mentioned his name when he opened the door. That must mean that short and sleepy was Sans. 

“Put her there.” Sans held out a skeletal hand before her to shake.   
Again, she found herself studying the intricacies of his bones. His phalanges flexed, moving in a smooth way that reminded her of the stretch of muscle and tendon. Without hesitation she reached out and took his hand in a firm grip. 

PPPPBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

The woman froze, instantly going rigid and feeling her body heat spike with shock and mortification. What the fresh hell?!

“SAAAAAAAANS!”

The short skeleton released his grip and tilted his hand sideways, allowing her to see the small pink balloon deflated in the center of his palm. “The old whoopee cushion in the hand trick.”

Stretch chuckled beside him and gave his free hand a high-five. “Classic.”

“UUUGGGHHHH, BROTHER PLEASE! NOT IN FRONT OF THE HUMAN!” Blue groaned in exasperation, clearly frustrated with the two joking skeletons. By the brother’s reactions it would seem this was a common occurrence, and one that neither of them particularly enjoyed.

“Yo, who’s the girl?”

Paige looked up towards the rough voice that floated down towards her, spotting yet another skeleton leaning against the banister above them. A wicked sharp smile revealed a single gold tooth glinting in the light above him. His hands were buried deep in the pockets of a fur lined black jacket. Seriously, just how many skeletons lived in this damn house?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it! First introduction our lovable spooky scary skeletons! We have Undertale, Undertale, Underfell, and Fellswap that are going to be under one roof! I may introduce characters from the other AUs, but I am still undecided. Also just in case there is some confusion, a friend brought to my attention that Fellswap and Swapfell are usually confused with eachother but are vastly different and after some research I did discover this as well. Fellswap Papyrus is what others refer to as Slim, Mutt, or Rus. Fellswap Sans is usually referred to as Berry or Raspberry (the opposite of Blue or Blueberry in my experience.) If you find this incorrect or it confuses you, well, here is my explanation. Thanks again for reading!


	3. You've Got a Berry Bad Temper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Berry and Red have a small altercation and Paige has a serious talk with Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't too much in this chapter really. I just needed a transition to leave the house and introduce the few other skellies in the house. Sorry for the short chapter! I promise the next will be much longer!

“So…let me get this straight.” Paige pinched the bridge of her nose and looked back up at the eight skeletons now standing around her in the kitchen. “You guys are all related?”

“You could say that, sweetheart.” Red shrugged. The same gold tooth she’d barely spotted on the stairs was now glinting brightly within his sharp maw, reflecting the lights in the kitchen. 

“Paps and I are brothers. So are Red and Edge, then Stretch and Blue. And so are Slim and Berry. All of us just happen to be cousins.” Sans shrugs, a bead of blue hued sweat on the side of his skull. “It’s uh…a bit complicated, I know.”

“Well, that’s not confusing…”

“OH GOOD! WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!” Blue smiled, the stars in his sockets growing larger as he smiled at her. 

Oh dear. He was too innocent for sarcasm it seemed. She’d have to remind herself not to do that in the future lest she come off rude to the others. 

“SO, YOU’RE A FRIEND OF UNDYNE AS WELL?” Papyrus appeared behind her, the sudden voice causing her to jump and turn to face him with a hand to her chest. 

“Uh, y-yeah. I’ve been friends with her and Alphys for a few months now.” She admitted with a small smile. He was hyper and loud, but she was starting to realize that he was adorably enthusiastic about anything and everything. He and Blue appeared to be similar in that sense. 

“MISS PAIGE, WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS TOO!” He suddenly took out a cherry red cellphone and placed it in her hands, closing her other hand over top of it. “MAY I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER? IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE ANOTHER HUMAN TO TALK TO!”

“OOH, ME TOO! I WOULD LIKE THE HUMAN’S NUMBER AS WELL!” Blue piped up from beside him, holding his cellphone at the ready for when she was finished with the other. The case was printed like a galaxy or nebula and had a small rocket sticker stuck to it. 

“Uh, Paps, I’m not so sure about that…” Sans started from across the kitchen, eyeing my hands nervously as they typed on the keypad.

“NONSENSE BROTHER! ANY FRIEND OF UNDYNE IS A FRIEND OF MINE!” He crowed delightfully, taking his phone back with a wide smile. “THANK YOU, MISS PAIGE!”

She couldn’t hold back a chuckle at the sudden onslaught of phones that were suddenly being handed her way. It wasn’t something that she was in the habit of doing, give out her phone number so readily, but it didn’t seem unnerve her when giving it to the skeletons as it did when giving it to someone else. They were nice enough and if they were friends with Alphys and Undyne too then they were probably okay. It did sting just a bit that Sans didn’t trust her or his brother right off the bat, but it was easy for her to understand. She was a complete stranger after all.

“It was nice meeting all of you. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to head home. I have work pretty early in the morning and need to get to sleep soon.” Paige stated as she pulled her car keys from her pocket.

“OH! WHERE DO YOU WORK, MISS PAIGE?” Blue looked up from his phone, a curious look on his face.

“I work down the street at the General Hospital.” She nudged her shoulder in what she thought was the buildings general direction. “I’m an X-Ray Technician there.”

“Y-YOU TAKE PICTURES OF B-BONES?!” Papyrus suddenly looked horrified, his face going bright orange. Wait, why was it orange? Could they all change color like that?

“Well, yes. That’s my job.” She shrugged. “If someone gets hurt and breaks a bone or dislocates something then it’s my job to take a picture so their doctor can see what’s wrong and try to find a way to fix it.”

“You think you can get some of those uh…pictures to share?”

Paige turned to look at who’d spoken up and stiffened, feeling goosebumps spread along her arms at the look on his face. His skull was flushed and glowing bright red while his tongue poked out from between sharp fangs. Edge, a very tall skeleton with a severe look and cracks spreading from his eye socket, immediately reached over and swatted the back of his skull, sending him tumbling sideways off the stool he’d been perched on. 

“DON’T BE DISGUSTING!” Edge snarled and stood straighter. His eyelights narrowed on Paige suddenly. “FORGIVE MY BROTHER, HE IS RATHER LEWD. I’M SURE IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING, BUT DO NOT DARE BRING ANYTHING LIKE THAT HERE!”

“Uh…thanks. And I’m not allowed to do that anyway. Patient confidentiality.” She stammered, looking down at Red with concern. The sound of bone hitting bone had been grating to her ears, sounding much harder than a simple smack normally would. “Are you okay?”

“LEAVE HIM. THE FOOL DESERVES IT HALF THE TIME ANYWAY.” Berry, an edgier looking Blue in black and red leather, stood with his arms crossed and a sneer on his face directed at the fallen skeleton.

“Shut yer trap, brat.” Red grimaced and stood, hands coming up to rub at the back of his skull where he’d been struck. He shared a glare with Berry before smirking. “Besides, if you’re so great, why did I get her number and you didn’t?”

Berry’s face suddenly turned a horrific shade of magenta and his fangs ground together roughly, another sound that greatly concerned the young woman. His glare turned almost savage. “I COULD GET HER NUMBER AT ANY TIME I WANTED TO! THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVE IT IS BECAUSE SHE OBVIOUSLY TOOK PITY ON SUCH A PATHETIC MONSTER!”

“Say that again, shrimp! I dare ya!!”

“WE ARE SAME HEIGHT, YOU IMBECILE!!”

“Um…guys? Can we maybe not fight about this?” Paige stared with growing concern at the glow that started emanating from both skeleton’s sockets. 

“Don’t worry about it.”

A tall and exhausted looking skeleton named Slim – Berry’s brother – was leaning forward on the stool next to her, watching the ensuing argument escalate. “M’lord often fights with the others. They don’t get along well.”

“I can see that. Is there a reason why?”

He shrugged and leaned back again, a bored expression on his face. “Don’t know. M’lord thinks they’re jealous and shun him out of spite.” His sockets turned and settled on petite brunette. “Wouldn’t you be jealous too?”

I raised an eyebrow and glanced back over at the screeching skeleton. “…. sure.” 

He nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer and pulled a phone out of his pocket before handing it to her. Paige stared at it in confusion before looking back up at him. He nodded his head towards the small device and responded. “It’s M’lord’s. I’m sure he would appreciate if you gave him your number. Don’t expect him to thank you for it though.”

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt if it would make the fighting stop. She quickly typed in her info and walked over towards the snarling skeletons in the middle of the room. 

“I wouldn’t do that, kid.” Stretch muttered. “They usually go at it for a while until they decide to take it outside. Better to stay out of the way.”

She nodded in response and stopped in front of the two, holding out the cellphone to Berry. “Here. My info is already in it.”

Berry’s eyes practically lit up as he snatched the phone eagerly and held it up triumphantly. Red on the other hand looked completely betrayed and didn’t bother to hide his irritation. Paige shrugged and shook her head, wanting to be done with the whole situation before it truly did get out of hand and they took to physical fighting like Stretch had suggested. Surprisingly, he stayed silent and went back to sit on the stool he’d occupied earlier. Her actions technically made him lose the argument, but she wasn’t about to stand there and watch people fight like children over something so small and menial.

“HA! I TOLD YOU! OBVIOUSLY, THE HUMAN WOULD WANT THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE BERRY FOR A FRIEND! THEY CLEARLY SEE ME AS AN IDOL AND A GREAT ASSET!”

Yeah, try taking the last two letters off. Where did somebody get that kind of ego? If the way that Slim regarded him was any indication she would say that his brother put him on a pedestal and spoiled him like a child. “Sorry guys, but I really do need to get going now.”

“I’ll show you the door, kid.” Sans spoke up and stood to lead her back to the entrance. 

“I don’t think 25 counts as a kid anymore, Sans.” Paige smiled as she followed after him.

He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned his head back towards her, regarding her with a casual but guarded smile. “Uh, thanks for being so nice to my bro and the others. We don’t get the chance to meet many friendly humans.”

This actually threw her off quite a bit. She’d seen plenty of people being perfectly well-mannered to monsters around town. Yeah, they had a lot of religious nuts and there were always going to be radicals who hated monsters. Hell, there were people that were still entirely racist towards other humans! Unfortunately, it was just a nasty part of humanity. But still, she knew not all humans were as bad as he was making them sound. 

“Sans, with all due respect, it’s pretty obvious that you don’t trust me. I wouldn’t be welcoming a stranger into my home with open arms either, but I feel like it’s a more personal than that with you.” He narrowed his sockets as she spoke but she continued on. “I understand that you’ve had some bad experiences with humans, but not all of us are like that. Hell, some of us are actually pretty open-minded and friendly. I know plenty of people who are friends and coworkers with monsters already, and its only been a couple years since the barrier was broken. I can understand if you don’t want to associate with me but do me a favor and at least have a real reason to dislike me instead of it just being because I’m a human.”

He seemed taken aback, his seemingly permanent grin going slack and his eyelights disappearing altogether from his sockets. He opened his mouth to speak before I held up my hand to silence him once again.

“That being said, I’m sorry if my coming here was a problem, I was just doing a favor for a friend. And I was nice to Papyrus and the others because they were incredibly polite and friendly. I actually very much enjoyed coming here and meeting you all. I can’t say that I would even mind staying in touch with you. All of you.” Paige smiled warmly and held out a hand to him once more. “I’m hoping you’ll keep that in mind.”

Sans remained still, however his eyelights did make a reappearance. He seemed to stand there and stare at the outstretch hand, contemplating the words he’d just heard, before he finally took the offered hand and gave it a light shake.

“Well, color me surprised.” He finally spoke. “Not gonna lie, I don’t trust you. But given your little speech here I do promise I’ll try to work on that. Just one thing…” His eyelights vanished and a glowing blue orb suddenly appeared in one of his sockets, staring into her own eyes with a sudden coldness that startled her. He jerked her forward and she stumbled into him, catching herself before she fell into him completely but was still inches from his face. “You can keep being friends with Paps and the others. But don’t you even think about doing anything to hurt them. Or else…y o u ‘ r e g o n n a h a v e a b a d t i m e…”

The air around her suddenly became cold and she struggled to suppress the urge to shiver and rip her hand from where it was firmly held in his own, the tight grip bordering on painful. Still, she cleared her throat and swallowed before responding, trying to make her voice sound stronger than she felt. “As intimidating as that is, and it must usually work for you, you don’t scare me Sans.” Lies. Paige was terrified. She’d never been threatened before in her life and it left a bitter taste in her mouth to hear it now. Gently prying her hand from his and flexing her fingers to get some feeling back, she watched his eyelights enlarge and a startled expression cross his face. “And no, I wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt your brother. Or anyone for that matter. You didn’t need to threaten me to get your point across.”

The brunette turned and straightened her jacket, clutching her keys tightly in her good hand. She opened the door and looked back at the shocked skeleton. Smiling, she muttered a quick goodbye and closed the door without waiting for a response before getting into her car. She calmly clicked her seatbelt into place and gripped the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles started turning white, immediately releasing a shaky breath and letting her shoulders slump forward from their tense painful position. As much as she hated to admit it, as much as she wanted to say she was immovable woman she wanted to be, she was scared of that look. Of that voice. If she did end up staying in touch with the skeleton family she would have to remind herself not to make Sans angry with her in the future. Even sitting within the safe confines of her vehicle she couldn’t get her heart to stop hammering painfully in her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big bro Sans is looking out for Paps! Paige really made an impression on him though. We'll see how this affects their relationship later on when they become closer. ;) Thanks again for reading!


	4. Let's Go To The Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An altercation at the Mall proves to Sans that Paige isn't all talk when it comes to her views on how monsters should be treated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!! I'm so sorry this took so long to post - but it is going to be much longer than the previous chapters! I recently started a new job that has really early hours and my body is exhausted! I'm not very good at waking up early in the morning...  
> Anyway, thanks for the wait and I hope you enjoy! If you have any suggestions or questions then feel free to contact me!

“What do you mean you’ve never been to the mall?” Undyne gaped with wide eyes. “Everyone goes to mall. Even kids go to the mall.”

Paige simply shrugged, an action that was quickly becoming a habit when being around the fish monster. “Because I can get everything that I need at stores that are closer and less crowded. This place is clear on the other side of the city from where I live. It’s not exactly convenient.”

In all honesty, Paige hadn’t had many friends when she was growing up and therefore no one to have ever gone out shopping with. Her father wasn’t the type to give any allowance for spending money either, so that just cemented the whole situation in her head as being trivial. Even when she’d graduated high school and moved out, even when she’d gone to college, she’d been far too busy with work and her studies to make friends. BP and the girls were the first close friends she’d had in her life. 

“So, you just up and decided you were okay with never going?”

“I guess so.” She frowned and pushed open the wide glass double doors. Undyne was starting to give her one of those looks that you got when people started to question what planet you were from. 

“Okay, so maybe I haven’t had any friends. Like, ever. Not until I met you guys.”

“O-Oh…. sorry we brought it up, Paige.” Alphys rubbed her arm and seemed to shrink in on herself. 

The brunette inhaled deeply and squared her shoulders, looking up at the glass panels that flooded the large building with natural light. “It’s no big deal, Alphys. Besides, I have you guys now. You’re the best friends I could’ve asked for.”

“Got that right, nerd!” Undyne threw an arm over Paige’s shoulder and squeezed, her other hand coming up to rub at the top of her head.

The young woman stiffened and immediately struggled, feeling the telltale sting of hair starting to knot tightly against skin. “Undyne! Come on, it took me forever to be able to fix my hair this morning!”

“It’s in a ponytail! How hard can it be to fix?” She crowed, drawing the wary eyes of multiple people nearby and on the floor above them.

Paige groaned after she finally let go and went to fixing hair as best she could. How hard can it be to fix? Says the monster with the longest silkiest looking red hair she’d ever seen! Paige’s hair was constantly at that awkward stage between wavy and curly with about a million flyaways that took several hours and countless beauty products to tame. A short messy ponytail was the best she could hope for, and that was after a long shower on a good day with low humidity.

“Oh, t-there they are!” Alphys announced from behind her, suddenly grabbing her arm and pulling as she strode forward

Paige stumbled, hands still in her hair as she struggled to turn. “W-Wait! Alphys, I can’t turn around!”

She yelped as her feet slid on the smooth marble floor and they swung out from underneath her. Her hands left her hair and she reached out to try to catch herself before her head could hit the ground. As it rose up to meet her too soon for her slow actions to prevent, a shock went through her body and she felt a pressure in her chest as if someone had reached through her ribs and had a hand around her heart. She stopped falling, stopped moving altogether. Not even able to twitch a single finger. 

“Close one. You should be more careful, kid. You could end up in a slippery situation.”

Paige gasped as the air was forced out of her lungs all at once and her body lurched back so she was standing flat on her feet, as if she’d never fallen to begin with. Her body gave a collective shudder as the pressure and the feeling of weightlessness suddenly disappeared, leaving the surface of her skin tingling and hyper sensitive in its absence. 

“I-I’m so sorry, P-Paige! I didn’t m-mean to make you t-trip!” Alphys stammered. Her hands covered her mouth as she spoke, and her tail curled around her feet.

“It’s okay, Alphys.” Paige muttered as she tried to steady her breathing. She felt lightheaded all of a sudden. “I’m okay, really. No harm done.”

“You okay there, kid?” A deep timbre spoke up from her side. 

“Jeez, doll. Didn’t think you’d end up fallin’ for me that hard.” 

She mentally shook herself and turned to see who’d spoken only to stop short when four familiar skeletons stood off to the side. She looked back and forth between them and the obvious streak left on the otherwise spotless floor from where her sneaker had slid across the surface. “Was that…how did...what?” She stammered, confusion morphing her face the longer she thought about it. How did they do that? Her brain couldn’t handle the simplest of physics explanations, but even she knew that what just happened should not have been remotely possible.

Sans shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, looking for all the world like what just happened was a normal occurrence. “Eh, maybe it’s magic.”

“Maybe it’s Maybelline.” Stretch chuckled and leaned against the wall beside Sans. 

Paige openly gaped at him. What did her body defying gravity have to do with a cosmetics brand? Then it suddenly hit her. The wall Stretch was leaning against had a marketing poster on it for the brand – you guessed it – Maybelline. She frowned. “First of all, that didn’t answer my question. Second, that was absolutely terrible but miraculously timed so you are forgiven. For now.”

Stretch cracked a grin and popped a sucker into his mouth. Red casually strode up to her and elbowed her side, making her jump from the sudden spark the contact had elicited. Dammit, her skin was still tingling from the magic. 

“We’re monsters, sweetheart. Magic explains everything.”

The brunette grimaced, suddenly feeling tired for it still being before noon. She trudged over the Alphys and dramatically draped myself over the timid monster, smirking at the loud protest from Undyne. 

“Alphyyyyyyyyyyys! They’re so mean to meeeeeeeeeeee!”

Alphys stammered and struggled to hold herself up with the sudden addition of weight. 

“MISS PAIGE! YOU’RE THE ONE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET TODAY?! THAT’S FANTASTIC!”

Before she got the chance to look up and acknowledge Papyrus, both her and Alphys were being lifted off the ground by two long bony arms. Both girls squeaked in shock and flailed helplessly as they were crushed into an excited hug.

“P-Papyrus! Please put us d-down!” The yellow monster stuttered, struggling to find any kind of leverage with her feet. Her arms were pinned to her sides the same as Paige and her short legs offered her no aid as they were several inches from the floor. 

They were gently sat back down by a very orange and very bashful looking Papyrus. Paige chuckled and relented, giving the skeleton a quick hug before turning to Alphys again. “You should have just told me that you were taking me to meet these guys!”

“I-I didn’t know that you’d already met them.” She adjusted her glasses and looked puzzled.

Now it was her turn to be confused. “What are you talking about? Didn’t you want me to drop off some books to their place a few days ago?”

Before she could answer Undyne quickly interjected. “Well, that doesn’t matter anymore right? I mean, we’re already here now so why don’t we go check out some of the stores! Paps, you wanted to go shopping for a new jacket, didn’t you?”

The taller skeletons face lit up. “YES! OH, MISS PAIGE, YOU SHOULD FIND ANOTHER ONE AS WELL! I NOTICED THE OTHER DAY THAT YOURS APPEARED TO BE QUITE WORN! COME! I WILL HELP YOU FIND THE PERFECT ONE!”

He suddenly took her hand and started running in a seemingly random direction. Paige sputtered and struggled to stay right side up as she was half carried behind the tall skeleton. Sans and Stretch followed with Red not too far behind either. Alphys looked up at her girlfriend with a confused expression.

“Um…Undyne? W-What did she mean when she said I’d wanted her to drop off some b-b-books?”

Undyne smirked and threw an arm over her shoulder, pulling her close as they walked. “I was just giving her a push in the right direction! She was gonna meet them sooner or later!”

“B-But that was supposed to be today! I mean…well…you are right. But, they need a proper setting to get acquainted, don’t they?”

Undyne shook her head and laughed as she watched the others disappear into one of the stores. “Romance can happen anywhere! I mean, we were in a garbage dump once back Underground!”

Alphys’ face turned a deep scarlet, suddenly finding an interest in the patterned tile beneath her feet. She looked up again suddenly when a thought came to her. “Um…Undyne? Did you ever tell her which one it was that we actually wanted her to meet?”

The fish woman paused, her uncovered eye widening before she chuckled nervously. “Now that I think about it. I don’t think I did.” She stood straighter and kept walking, a bright smile on her face once again. “No worries! I’m sure she’ll figure it out!” 

“H-How is she supposed to do that?” Alphys blanched. 

Paige was finally released once they’d rushed into a store that she quickly realized was a little higher end than what she normally shopped for. The racks were lined with an array of colors in numerous sizes and styles. It even smelled good! Instead of the usual musk of fabric and floor cleaner, it smelled more like they’d just walked into a Bath & Body Works. She didn’t know how, but every rack of clothing smelled like it was doused in a different perfume despite the clothes themselves not actually smelling like anything. And yes, she did check. Then promptly walked away once she realized the cashier was staring at her. 

Papyrus looked downtrodden once she made it back over to him. Sans, Red, and Stretch were having a blast making puns out of everything they could see, much to his dismay. 

“Try another one, Pap. Don’t be so blue, I’m sure you’ll find one that fits.” Sans grinned, getting a kick out of his brothers groaning as he took off the light blue zip-up.

“Here ya go, try this one out.” Stretch pulled an orange and gray coat off a rack and handed it to Papyrus. 

“THANK YOU, STRETCH!” His sockets beamed, and he started to take it off the hanger to try on.

“No problem. Orange you glad I didn’t make a pun?”

“NYEH! WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS DO THIS?!”

Paige couldn’t help but chuckle. She thought it was a little much but seeing someone else getting the brunt of the jokes was a little more enjoyable than being part of it herself. Red seemed to notice of her, and a smirk immediately spread across his skull. 

“Thread carefully, kitten. Wouldn’t want you to go down a second time.”

And good feelings are gone. She narrowed her eyes at his smug expression and if possible, his grin widened. 

“DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP DOING THAT?!”

“I’ve taken it a pun myself to find one that won’t string me out.” He stated simply, winking at her. 

“Was that two puns in one sentence?” Paige sighed. At this point she had resigned herself to listening to bad jokes the entire rest of the trip. 

“COME, MISS PAIGE! WE CAN ESCAPE THE PUNS TOGETHER!” Papyrus once again latched onto her hand and took off out of the store. 

“Come on, Paps! We weren’t red-dy to leave yet!” Sans chuckled as he held up a red blazer. Stretch and Red snorted as they all started leaving the store too. 

“SAAAAAAAANS!!!”

 

~*~

 

Paige sighed as everyone sat at the food court, feeling the ache in her calves from all the running Papyrus had managed to make her do. Every time he tried to escape his brother and the others he started dragging her along with him. Not that she minded. She was still enjoying herself immensely. As it turned out, Papyrus was fun to go shopping with. In fact, he reminded her of when she would go shopping with another equally exuberant friend. She tore a small piece off the soft pretzel Alphys had handed and dipped it into the small cup of nacho cheese. 

“I know they were cheesy, but you’re not still salty about all the jokes are ya, sweetheart?” Red smirked from where he reclined in the seat next to her. 

The brunette groaned and put snack down, sinking down into the booth. “Red, you’re ruining my appetite!”

“Don’t let all that food go to waist.”

She abruptly stood. “I’m gonna go get another drink…”

“You should try the Crush. It’s soda-licious.”

“No, I think they took soft drinks off the menu just to sprite people.”

“That was a fanta-stick pun.”

Alphys and Undyne laughed as Papyrus started to rage against the three punning skeletons. Paige smiled and grabbed her cup, walking back towards the pop machine for a quick refill. Not that she didn’t like a good joke now and then, but these guys were masters in their own way. She was pretty sure they could fill an entire book with nothing but jokes without breaking a sweat. 

“Look, I want a manager! I came here to eat, not get sassed by some fucking monster scum! Who in their right mind would hire you in the first place?!”

The young woman stopped mid-stride hearing the sudden outburst and spotted a tall man with a shaved head waving his arms in front of one of the food stalls. She frowned seeing the other monsters that were nearby hurry away from the scene with their heads down. Jesus, did the guy really have to make that big of a deal out of something? All he was doing was making himself look like an ass. 

“Sir, I’m not sassing you. I’m just telling you that we don’t sell that here. Our menu is clearly posted on the wall if you’d like to order something else.”

“I’m not blind, I can see your damn menu! You think I’m too stupid to see what’s in front of my face?!”

“That’s not what I-.”

“Where’s the manager, already?! I want you fired!”

Recognition sparked in her mind and her eyes widened as worry gripped her heart. Dropping the empty cup, she rushed over and saw a pair of familiar brown pointed ears laid back in agitation. BP stood behind the counter, looking like he was starting to lose his cool as he was getting screamed at.

“If you don’t get your manager out here right now, I’m gonna drag your furry ass outside and put you down like I should’ve done when you fuckers first got up here!”

Oh, that’s it. Paige felt her body go rigid with rage, heat settling in the pit of her stomach. How dare this scumbag treat someone like that! No friend of hers was getting threatened by some intolerant asshole! Especially not if she had anything to say about it, and she had plenty to say!

 

~*~

 

Sans had been watching, waiting for Paige to come back to the table so they could continue with their browsing. It had felt like it had been awhile yet, but tibia honest he hadn’t wanted to seem creepy by keeping tabs on her. He’d have told anyone else that he was just keeping an eye on her. That it was normal to be concerned about the safety of a woman wandering around on her own in a crowd. Which was partly true. No one needed to know that he was making sure she stuck to her word and didn’t actually mean any harm. Alphys and Undyne could say whatever they wanted about her, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t have them fooled too. He’d known one too many dishonest humans that had an ulterior motive. There was always something they could gain from harming a monster. 

“Where’d the nerd go? She’s taking forever to get back! How long does it take to get a refill from a machine that’s only a few feet away?” Undyne huffed and craned her neck to get a look around for their missing friend.”

“Don’t know. Let’s see if we can’t find her and get going.” Sans stood along with the others and started to walk away. 

The sudden shouting caught his attention first. He’d only known Paige for a few days, but her voice was still unmistakable. The others noticed as well, and they started walking towards the commotion, finding a gathering of people standing just outside of one of the food stalls. Sans frowned and followed as Undyne pushed her way through the group of humans and monsters. His eyelights shrunk as he took in the scene. Standing in front of a certain familiar cat monster was a tall bald human man wearing faded jeans, heavy boots, and a gray shirt with ripped off sleeves. His face was bright red with a noticeably large vein bulging on his forehead as he screamed down at none other than their missing friend. She looked equally as red in the face, but appeared to be standing her ground with her fists clenched tightly at her sides. 

“No, how dare you come in here and talk to him like that! Are you kidding me?! Not only are you a racist asshole, but you’re obviously illiterate! There’s a menu right in front of your face! Are you really that stupid to come in here and demand food that they don’t even make?!”

“Who the hell do you think you are, bitch?! What, are you some monster loving whore?! You and everyone else on their side should go back to that godforsaken mountain and disappear!”

“Wow, that’s the best you could come up with? Do you even realize how ignorant you sound? Please, you think anyone here takes you seriously? All you look like is some intolerant scumbag looking to pick a fight over nothing just so you can look tough! He didn’t do anything to you, he was just doing his job! What makes you think you can just talk to him like that because he’s a monster? No, screw you! The only real monster here is you! Back the fuck off and leave him alone!”

Yeah, she wasn’t really helping matters by insulting the guy… The man’s teeth grit together so hard that they could hear the crunch from where they stood and Sans tensed as his arm was raised and pulled back with a closed fist, ready to strike her. He lifted a bony hand into the air and glared as the guy was ripped off the ground and sent flying into the wall behind him. Paige froze and looked around wildly before her gaze settled on him. Her eyes softened, a grateful and relieved expression taking over her face. BP looked absolutely panicked behind the counter as he watched the guy stand up from the floor. His whole body was tense and hulking as a savage rage-filled glare was aimed at Sans. Paige immediately stepped in his line of sight, effectively cutting off his line of sight to the skeleton and crossed her arms. She looked for all the world like a stern parent berating a child for throwing a tantrum. 

“Obviously you have a problem with monsters. But that’s your problem. Not anyone else’s, and certainly not BP’s. So why don’t you take your problems and leave.”

“You little bitch! You think I won’t find you and take care of you myself! I’ll k-!”

The sound of a loud meaty smack resounded throughout the now quiet kiosk. Paige stood with her arm raised, a furious look on her face. The man looked shocked for a moment and stumbled as if he wasn’t expecting the blow, his hand coming up to cradle the curve of his cheek where her fist had made contact. 

“Alright people, step aside! That’s enough!” A security guard pushed his way through the crowd of people and stood before the shocked man. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave now, sir. You’ve caused enough of a disturbance for one day.”

“Me?! This bitch just assaulted me, and you’re saying that I have to leave?! Unbelievable! I’m a human, dammit! I have every right to be here! This is public property!” He bellowed fiercely.

“Yes, this is public property. Everyone has a right to be here, and that includes monsters.” The security guard pointed out with narrowed eyes. “We don’t allow discrimination here by any means. I’m sorry, but per the owner you’re going to have to exit the premises. If you don’t leave now then I’m afraid you’ll have to be forcefully escorted out by security.”

“I’m not going anywhere! You tell the owner that he can go fuck himself! If I have to leave then he’s gonna get the biggest lawsuit of his life! I’ll get this place shut down for this bullshit!”

“I did warn you, sir.” The guard frowned with grim resignation. 

A barrage of security guards sprang forward and pulled the man’s hands behind his back, grabbing his arms at both side and practically dragged him away from the stall, kicking and screaming the whole way. Sans grimaced at the threats that were hurled at everyone there, especially the ones that seemed to be aimed at Paige. He looked back up at her to see her standing in the corner and comforting Burgerpants as his tail flicked around erratically. She’d actually stood up for BP. Even going as far as to almost get into a fist fight with someone that was easily twice her size. His soul pulsed in his ribs as he watched her embrace the nervous cat monster and speak in soothing tones. Sans had remembered her little speech that day he’d first met her. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard something similar. It had shocked him to hear it come so easily from her, but he still hadn’t believed any of it. After all, they were only words. However, seeing her actually try to physically fight someone had put it a little more into perspective in terms of how he saw her. She really had meant it.

“Paige are you out of your mind?! Do you realize that you could have just been beaten senseless by that guy?!”

Sans was broken out of his sudden reverie when Undyne started yelling at the petite brunette. The others had gathered around her and BP, expressing their outrage and concern. Red seemed to be anxiously looking around, making sure to stand between her and the rest of the humans that had gathered and were talking amongst themselves. Stars, if she even started to have Red worried then she must have already had him wrapped around her fleshy finger. 

“T-That was t-terrifying! B-But it was also so cool!” Alphys gushed, torn between her usually anxious stammering and the excited chattering she usually had when talking about her favorite anime. “You looked like a real-life heroine standing against a v-villain!”

The poor girl’s cheeks starting turned pink and her shoulders rose slowly, her hands fiddling with the zipper on her jacket. She looked almost the exact opposite of the young woman he’d seen standing up to a raging man just minutes earlier. The sudden change in her demeanor made him chuckle. From strong warrior to anxious human in less than a minute. Heh. 

“YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE STOOD UP TO HIM ALONE, MISS PAIGE! WHAT IF YOU HAD GOTTEN HURT! YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO MYSELF OR UNDYNE!”

She had the sense to look somewhat abashed before replying. “I’m sorry, really. I didn’t think about what I was doing. I just heard what he was saying, and got so mad. I couldn’t help myself. No one else was going to stop him, and I couldn’t just stand there and let him act like that.”

“Jeez, kid. You didn’t have to go that far.” Stretch sighed, his expression tense. “You could’ve just called for security or something.”

“I know that now! I said I was sorry!” She defended with a cry, throwing her arms in the air dramatically. 

Sans felt his usual smile spread wider across his skull, that weird pulse in his soul coming back again. This girl really was something else…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! Sorry if any of the language or semi-racial stereotyping bothered anyone. I don't know if calling someone a racist redneck is technically racist in itself or not, but it was not my intention to offend anyone if you do get salty or anything.  
> So, we have finally proven to Sans that Paige actually holds strong beliefs and sticks to them! Brownie points with the classic skelly! This altercation will come into play later on in future chapters when the plot thickens! This will not be the last time we will see the tall angry bald man!  
> Also, a friend of mine had to help me with the puns quite a bit because I absolutely suck at them!


	5. Movie Marathon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A minor heart to heart with Sansy leads to a new friendship. Afterwards we get a mini movie marathon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is long too! Ohmygod! And so soon after the last chapter! Regardless, this one is still kind of sort of like a filler chapter to me, I'm so sorry! I know, I suck! But the chapter after this one is gonna be full of fluffy and embarrassing goodness! As always, let me know what you think! I would love to hear any and all input! Thanks!

After all the drama at the mall, their little outing was called to a close and everyone packed into their respective cars and went home. Paige had driven with Alphys and Undyne originally, but Papyrus had offered to take her home instead since she only lived not far from their own home. It was a little bit of a tight fit in the shiny red convertible. Stretch sat shotgun and Paps drove. Sans and Red sat on either side of her and she was left squished in the middle. As soon as they started driving Red ended up falling asleep with his skull pressed against the window and the furry hood of his jacket pulled up over his head. 

“Uh…Paige.” Sans sighed and scratched at the back of his skull, keeping his gaze out the window of the car. “Look, the way you stood up for BP back there…I know I didn’t really think much of you at first, and it wasn’t really fair of me to assume…”

“Sans, I told you, I get it.” Paige smiled and leaned her head back against the headrest. “I really do. You don’t have to explain anything to me.” 

“But I do, kid.” He sighed and finally turned to look at her. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry.”

Well, that was unexpected. Just how long had that been bothering him? She shook her head and felt a smile start to stretch across her face, a low warmth settling in her stomach as she looked at the guilt-ridden skeleton sitting next to her. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Sans. I’ll accept it but I don’t think you needed to say anything. I appreciate it though.” She held out her hand and watched as he glanced down and his brow bones knit together in confusion, almost the exact same way he’d reacted the first time she’d made the gesture. “Start over?”

Sans’ smile relaxed and his shoulders dropped a fraction. He took the offered hand and squeezed it, giving it a light shake. “Start over.”

“If you guys start making out I’m gonna hurl.”

Both jumped and turned to see a rather ruffled looking Red sitting up and practically glaring holes through the glass. Paige chuckled and reached over to pull the hood back off of his skull and gave the hand on his lap a firm squeeze. His face immediately started glowing a deep crimson and he started sputtering and snarling before ripping his hand away and gluing himself to the side of the door. 

“If you wanted some attention then all you had to do was ask, Red.” She smirked and crossed her arms, leaning back into the seat once more. 

“Why the hell would I want that from you?!” He snapped and ripped his hood back up, tightening it around his face then crossed his arms tightly over his ribs. 

She’d heard of living up to your name, but this took it to a whole new level. There was a sudden loud snort and laughter – and a terrified cry from Papyrus – that erupted inside the car. Paige jumped and looked at the two laughing pun-loving skeletons in confusion. 

“Good one, kid!” Stretch slapped a hand across the dashboard, attempting to catch his breath. 

She blinked owlishly, gaze flitting back and forth between the two. “I said that out loud?”

Sans stopped and looked at her incredulously, wiping away a glowing blue tear from his socket. “You didn’t even do it on purpose?”

She shook her head and frowned, looking over apologetically at the now glowing red skeleton beside her. He glared at her, keeping his hood pulled tight around his face. Something about the look somehow didn’t seem as venomous as his previous looks had been, but she still didn’t think he was very happy about being the butt of her accidental joke. Well, shit. Make up with one skeleton and piss off another. She had a real winning streak going. 

 

~*~

 

“And just who is it that you keep texting to avoid doing your work?”

Paige cringed and looked up guiltily from the phone half hidden under the edge of the desk. Diane stood beside her, hands perched on her plump hips, a clear look of disapproval written on her face. “Um…no one?”

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head. “Paige, how are you even a functioning adult?”

“Adult, yes. I never said anything about functioning.” The brunette clarified helpfully. 

Diane snorted and held her hand, to which Paige pouted and begrudgingly handed over the phone. Goodbye, dear friend! We will be together soon! 

“But I don’t have anything to do right now! We’re slow today! All my work is done!”

“Paige, you have three months of reports and scans to file. Honestly, I don’t know how you can find any of your paperwork in this mess…”

“But it’s clean!”

“Only your desk is clean! That poor excuse of a filing cabinet is more like a dumpster!”

Paige sighed and slumped forward in her chair, wheeling it sideways with her feet and letting her torso drag across the surface of the desk all while continuing to make eye contact with her superior. Diane rolled her eyes and put the phone on top of one of the shelves in the corner. Paige frowned and looked at her with the best irritated look she could muster.

“Really? Is my phone in a time out? Diane, I’m not five.”

Diane snorted again, a sound that was very quickly starting to get on her nerves – especially when hearing it come from Red and Berry so often. “That’s a lie if I ever heard one.”

Paige groaned and pulled open the cabinets behind her, glaring at the older woman as she sauntered out the office door in victory. This woman was worse than Paige’s own mother… At least it would help kill some time. And she really did need to clean out and organize some of these old files. She started pulling out a few files when the telltale rattle of her phone vibrated against the surface of the shelving from a notification. She ignored it and pulled out more files, pausing when it went off another two times. Who in the world was texting her right now? Before she’d gotten her phone taken away she’d only been playing a game. The files were dropped and the young woman was quick to push a couple of chairs over into the corner, trying to find a way to stack them so that she could easily reach the top of the shelf. She picked up one and turned it upside down so that the cushioned arms were on top of the arms of the other, the flat bottom of the seat level so that she could stand on it. Pulling a stool out from under the desk, she climbed up the only slightly wobbly stack and managed to tap the corner of her phone and get it to tip over the edge and into the palm of her hand. Hmm, four texts and one missed call? The first text was something pretty usual, just a quick ‘Good morning’ from BP. The next was actually a joke. 

Sans  
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?

Me  
I don’t know. How?

Sans  
He could feel it in his bones.

Me  
Oh god, that was terrible!

Sans  
You can’t tell me that didn’t tickle your funny bone.

Me  
I will admit that it was good, but you’ll  
have to try harder than that.

Sans  
Challenge accepted.

Something told her the puns were going to just keep coming until he got a good enough reaction. She smiled and backed out, going to the next message in her notifications. Oddly enough, this one actually came from Red. 

Red  
Hey kitten, me a couple of the others were  
gonna have a movie night. You should join in.

Me  
Oh yeah? What’s the occasion?

Red  
We bought a Blu-ray player and Berry went  
and bought half the movies in the store.

Me  
Sure, why not. I don’t have work tomorrow.

Red  
Planning on staying late?

Me  
Lol no, but I have a feeling you’re all going to  
want to watch a bunch of different ones.

Red  
Well if you do decide to stay, you can  
always crash with me.

Me  
Thanks for the offer, but I think  
I’ll be able to make it home.

Red  
Awe, don’t go breakin’ my heart now.

Me  
I think you’ll live. Besides, I’m a doctor. I’ll put it back together.

She felt her cheeks heat and immediately closed the message. She wasn’t sure how she ended up rolling the conversation that way, but at least he wasn’t mad at her anymore. At least she thought he wasn’t. The next was some kind of phone update notification. Nothing new there. An upgrade was available for her phone plan. The next message was kind of weird though. From an unknown number.

Unknown  
Nice dress.

Paige glanced down at her usual scrubs. No dress here. She was actually pretty sure she didn’t even own a dress anymore. Someone probably gave some poor dude a fake number and he ended up with hers instead. 

Me  
Sorry, but I think you have a bad number. Don’t know you.

She closed out the messenger app and opened the voicemail, hitting play on the setup screen. The sudden wailing from the recording caused her to wince and hold the phone a good distance away from her battered ear as the excited and loud grating voice of none other than Berry – with various interjections from Blue – erupted from the speaker. Something about buying food and having a slumber party. She had a feeling that this had something to do with the new DVD player Red had been talking about. 

“Paige Leigh Moore, I swear if you’re on that phone instead of doing your paperwork-!”

Paige jumped and fumbled with the phone before throwing it back on top of the shelf and scrambling over to the cabinet to begin doing some actual work. For only being her supervisor, Diane was starting to sound more and more like her mother. 

 

~*~

 

“HUMAN! YOU’VE FINALLY COME!” The short rambunctious skeleton leaned against the door jam, a smug grin plastered on his skull. “I KNEW YOU COULD NOT WAIT TO SEE THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE BERRY ONCE AGAIN!”

Paige smiled uneasily and walked past him into the house. “Hello again, Berry. I missed all of you actually.”

He frowned and bolted in front of her, once again puffing out his chest. “Y-YES, BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU MISSED ME MORE BECAUSE I AM YOUR FAVORITE!”

“MISS PAIGE WOULDN’T PICK FAVORITES! THAT WOULDN’T BE FAIR!” Blue huffed, poking his head out of the next room. His expression suddenly turned downtrodden and he looked up at her with wide sockets. “RIGHT…?”

Her heart felt like it would break just from seeing his expression alone. “I don’t believe in favorites, Blue. I like all of you guys.”

His eyes lit up with a flash of blue stars and he darted back into the room, followed by the sound of crashing and something that sounded like it was being pelted against the wall. On the other hand, Berry looked a little miffed.

“YOU SHOULD JUST TELL HIM THE TRUTH! AH, BUT YOU HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR THE BABY BONES! I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE! SPARING HIS FEELINGS!” Berry’s smirk returned, and he gave her side a sharp elbow followed by a wink before sprinting into the Livingroom. 

“I wasn’t trying to…”

“COME! WE ARE GOING TO WATCH THE ONE I PICKED OUT FIRST!” 

“I had dibs, runt.”

Red sat reclined on the loveseat in the corner. His deep red eyelights narrowed on Berry as he lounged against the cushions. As soon as he spotted Paige his frown turned into a toothy grin. 

“Hey, doll. Glad you could make it.”

“Eh, it sounded like fun. It’s been a little while since I’ve seen you guys too.”

“WE ARE NOT GOING TO WATCH THAT FILTH YOU DEIGN TO REFER TO AS ENTERTAINMENT!”

“I HAD A MOVIE PICKED OUT TOO!” Blue crowed and ran into the room holding a massive bowl full of popcorn and a few bags in his other hand.

“NO! IT’S MY MOVIE PLAYER AND I SAY WE ARE WATCHING MY MOVIE FIRST!”

“Does it matter what we watch first? We’re going to watch all of them anyway.”

She kicked off her shoes by the wall and fell back against the couch, pulling one of the blankets off of the back and draping it over her legs. “Alright Blue, I’ll hold the popcorn and sit in the middle. Let’s get this marathon going!”

Blue bounced onto the cushion next to her and gingerly handed over the overflowing bowl. Instead of grabbing one of the other blankets that had been pulled out, he grabbed the one Paige was using and draped it over the both of them instead. Berry huffed, growing irritated again before roughly putting the movie into the DVD player and throwing himself onto the other cushion, pulling the other corner of the blanket and haphazardly covering his legs before shoving his hand into the popcorn bowl hard enough to knock some out. 

The first movie that Berry had ended up putting in was some kind of drama/horror/gore movie featuring a robot that he was animatedly talking about proper procedures for torture during almost the entire movie. Blue had ended up putting in a movie that he said was about space.

“What is it called?” Paige asked, watching the opening screen came on.

“LIFE! I BELIEVE IT MAY BE ABOUT THE ORIGINS OF STARS OR SOMETHING SIMILAR BASED OFF OF THE TITLE!” He piped up and shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

Her eyes widened as she picked up the case and read the movie summary on the back. “Um…Blue, I don’t think that’s right.”

Turns out it he was very wrong. Before long the screen was full of nothing but floating globs of blood and a killer stingray-looking alien. Blue had been horrified and instantly cowered under the blanket, only lowering it enough that one socket could peak around the fabric. At one point something flew across the screen and he and Berry both gave ungodly shrieks before burying themselves against either side of Paige’s body (much to her dismay – some of their bones were fairly pointy). Red had laughed the entire time, even admitting that it was better than the movie that he’d had picked out. It was pretty creepy, but Paige was a horror movie junkie, so she actually really enjoyed it. For a cliché alien movie, it was pretty good. The CGI was amazing and the acting was spot on. 

“You sure look comfy over there, Doc.” Red muttered, just loud enough to be heard. 

The brunette frowned at the obvious sarcasm in his voice, despite him being correct about her slight discomfort. Despite their appearance, bones were not the softest things to be held with. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the movie in time to see some poor astronaut start getting torn apart by the alien. 

“T-THIS MOVIE IS NOT SCARY AT ALL! IT’S QUITE BORING!” Berry scoffed, but his words were refuted by his actions as his hands held the woman’s arm tighter.

“R-RIGHT! I-I’M NOT SCARED!” Blue shuddered, hiding half of his face behind Paige’s other arm. His knees were pulled as close to his chest as he could get them. 

Paige and Red both shared the same knowing look before turning back to the movie just as it ended. She yawned and stretched, taking a peek at her watch. Only two movies and it was already pretty late. She made a move to pick up the bowl and blankets, but two sets of arms stopped her from standing completely. 

“YOU AREN’T LEAVING ARE YOU, MISS PAIGE?” Blue asked. He seemed to stare at every dark corner of the room with wide starry eyelights. 

“Well, it is already pretty late. I still have to drive home.”

“NONSENSE! WHY WOULD I LET YOU DRIVE WHEN YOU CAN SIMPLY STAY HERE FOR THE NIGHT! LIKE YOU SAID, IT IS ALREADY QUITE LATE!”

“But- “

“No sense in fighting it, kitten. They’re just gonna end up getting their way in the end. Always do.” Red yawned and gave the woman a wink and a cheeky grin. “Besides, you can take me up on my offer and bunk with me tonight.”

“RED, DON’T BE CRUDE!” Blue scowled and scolded him.

“THERE IS A SPARE ROOM IN THE HOUSE THAT YOU CAN USE TONIGHT.” Berry stood and crossed his arms, pointedly ignoring Red’s words. He did, however, shoot the other skeleton a glare before continuing. “I WILL SET IT UP FOR YOU AND YOU WILL STAY THE NIGHT HERE. IT IS MUCH TOO LATE FOR YOU TO BE LEAVING ALONE!”

“Berry, I’m 25. I think I can handle driving my car down the street to my – and you’re walking away and ignoring me. Okay, then.” She frowned.

“Told ya.” Red stood from his spot on the recliner and stretched. “G’night. See you in the morning.”

“I’LL TAKE YOU TO THE SPARE ROOM! COME ON! YOU CAN BORROW MY PAJAMAS!”

Blue led her up the stairs to a long hallway full of doors. Before either one of them got the chance to open the door, Berry kicked it open and startled them both, quickly pushing Paige into it, shoving a pile of clothes into her hands.

“HERE IS A CHANGE OF CLOTHES, THE BED IS TURNED DOWN, GOOD NIGHT!”

And then the door was slammed into her face, leaving her standing in the middle of the room alone and confused. Well she guessed she was just going to have to stay the night then. With a sigh, she changed into the black tank top and purple shorts that had been shoved into her arms before climbing into bed and shutting off the lamp. At least they had the foresight to leave a phone charger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it! Life is one of my favorite movies by the way. I absolutely love horror - not so much gore though. Blech! So Paige ended up being coerced into sleeping over once it got too late. Will something happen in the middle of the night in a house full of skeletons? We shall see! Thanks for reading!


	6. Snuggly Skeleton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Berry decided he couldn't sleep and crashed with Paige! Much brotherly protectiveness and awkwardness ensues!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry that this took so long for me to get out! It's not that good a chapter to be honest, but I did need something to transition to the good parts, don't judge me! I'm sort of stuck in the middle of working and trying to get settled to go back to school for college classes so everything has been really hectic and exhausting! Thanks so much for your patience!

The first thing Paige noticed when she woke up was that the blanket she was covered up with felt unusually soft against her skin. The blanket on her bed was well kept but was still your basic store-bought comforter. She sighed and snuggled further into the sheets, stretching her legs and dragging her toes against the- 

Wait…what was her foot touching right now? She gave her toes and little test wiggle and ran them up and down against the random object under the blankets near her feet. It felt smooth but not smooth. The flat surface was slightly ridged and had tiny dips in certain spots and felt surprisingly warm. Paige frowned and opened her eyes. There was a sizeable lump under the blanket next to her, but it didn’t look big enough to be a person though. Maybe a little kid, but she knew that there were no kids here. She reached out and lifted the blanket, feeling her chest tighten with panic at seeing the small skeleton curled up on the mattress and pressed into her side. She’d been lying in bed next to a freaking skeleton! Berry – unmistakable with the cracks going through his socket – was laying curled up in a ball, clutching a small round purple pillow to his ribs. It was kind of odd. She was so used to the small skeleton run around screaming like a banshee that seeing him look somewhat peaceful was almost concerning. Despite it obviously being him, it was almost like looking at another skeleton when he was asleep. 

“STOP STARING AT ME YOU FOOL.”

The brunette jolted and threw the blanket back over his head, feeling her face warm with embarrassment at being caught. The lump under the blanket shifted and the fabric was ripped out of her hands and thrown off the bed, revealing an annoyed frown and narrowed sockets. 

“I-I wasn’t staring!”

His frown deepened and one of his brow bones rose questioningly. 

“Not on purpose!” She huffed, crossing her arms. Wait, why was she trying to defend herself! He wasn’t supposed to be in here anyway! He was in the wrong, not her! “Wait, why are you in here, anyway?!”

His skull suddenly burst into a bright glowing magenta. “OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE!”

“Do you always sneak into the guest room in the middle of the night and cuddle with strangers!?”

He shrugged and climbed out of the bed, starting towards the door without looking back. “FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS MY HOUSE! SECONDLY, I WAS NOT CUDDLING! THIRDLY, YOU ARE NOT A STRANGER! AS YOU’VE SAID BEFORE, WE ARE FRIENDS AND FRIENDS HAVE SLEEPOVERS, DO THEY NOT?”

“No! …yes? I guess so? That’s not the point here! Guy friends and girl friends don’t usually share the same bed!”

“WELL, WE’RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE THAT.” Berry huffed with a smirk, raising his chin and attempting to look down at her. “YOUR PITIFUL SOCIAL STIGMAS DO NOT APPLY TO MONSTERS ANYWAY.”

“Yes, they do! That’s why there are laws and rules! Social stuff has to apply somewhere too, doesn’t it? Right…?”

He simply ignored her at that point and walked out. Leaving the door wide open. Okay then, he was acting weird. Well, weirder. To be honest, she was not expecting this compared to his previous behavior. From what she’d seen and heard so far, she’d been expecting a pampered and spoiled screaming brat of a skeleton. Paige stood and quickly closed the door, turning to search for her clothes. She hadn’t been expecting to stay the night, so she hadn’t brought a change of clothes. Looks like she was going to go with this until she got home and had a proper shower. 

“MISS PAIGE! WILL YOU BE JOINING US FOR–?”

Paige shrieked and ripped the blanket off of the bed, wrapping it around her bare shoulders as quickly as she could. Papyrus’ sockets went wide and his hands immediately coming up to cover his face.

“I’M SO SORRY! I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU WERE CHANGING!”

“Who is changing?” Another voice suddenly emerged from the hallway. 

“Papyrus! Close the door!” Paige cried, pulling the blanket tighter. 

He stuttered another apology and slammed the door closed. The young woman sighed and quickly finished dressing before opening the door. Papyrus stood in the hallway with his head lowered, hands clutched tightly in front of him. He looked up at her before he muttered a small ‘nyeh’ and lowered his sockets again. His entire skull was almost completely orange at this point and he looked painfully embarrassed and unsure. Paige frowned and reached out, placing her hand over his own. Papyrus tensed and flicked his sockets up to meet her gaze once more. 

“Sorry for yelling, Papyrus.” She offered a small smile and gave his hand a squeeze. “You uh…kind of surprised me.”

“NO, I SHOULD HAVE KNOCKED! I’M TERRIBLY SORRY!” His hands flew up and covered his face again. “THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ASHAMED! I ALWAYS KNOCK! I DON’T KNOW WHY I DIDN’T THIS TIME! I’M SO-!”

“Paps, it’s okay! Really! No harm done!” She laughed and started attempting to pull his hands away from his face. 

As embarrassing as the situation was, he really did seem earnest in his apology. Heck, the poor guy seemed even more embarrassed than she was at this point. The tall skeleton finally relented and let her pull his hands back down to his sides. 

“A-ARE YOU SURE?”

“I’m positive.” Paige mustered her best smile, trying to be as reassuring as she could. “Now what were you saying before?”

He perked up, the dusting of orange across his cheekbones all but disappearing. “OH, YES! I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE JOINING US FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING!”

Paige looked down at the watch on her wrist. It was actually really early. Not even 8:00 in the morning. “You guys eat pretty early don’t you? I would, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome. You guys already let me stay the night, and that was more than enough. Thank you, by the way! I never got the chance to say it last night.”

“OF COURSE NOT! YOU COULD NOT HAVE POSSIBLY OVERSTAYED IF YOU TRIED!” He beamed and grabbed her slender hand, pulling her forward and leading her down the stairs. “AND THE GREAT PAPYRUS INSISTS THAT YOU STAY FOR BREAKFAST! AFTER ALL, IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY!”

She chuckled and resigned herself to once again mooch off of these kind skeletons. As Papyrus lead her through the doorway to the kitchen, a delicious aroma suddenly embracing her. She inhaled deeply and immediately regretted it when her stomach gurgled and growled, drawing the attention of the skeleton standing at the stove.

“MISS PAIGE! GOOD MORNING!” Blue smiled, spatula in hand. 

She smiled and gave a small wave. “Good morning. What are you making?”

“PANCAKES! PAPYRUS WAS MAKING BACON AND EGGS AS WELL!”

“Egg-cellent cooking, bro.” Sans chortled from his hunched position at the island. “Smells good. It’s bacon me hungry.” 

“SAAAANS!” Papyrus and Blue groaned at the same time, their faces scrunched in disapproval.

Paige chuckled and sat down next to the small lazy skeleton. “Good morning, Sans. You still look tired. Did you get any sleep?”

Sure enough, he looked paler than usual even for a skeleton. The bags under his eyes looked much more prominent than they had been before. His whole appearance practically screamed sleep deprivation. 

“I’m good, kid.” He shrugged. “Heard about the movie marathon. How was it?”

Changing the subject. Well, if he didn’t want to talk about it she wasn’t going to twist his arm. “It was nice, actually. Blue ended up picking a scary movie that had everyone pretty spooked, though.”

“M-MISS PAIGE! WE WERE NOT SCARED!” Blue protested with a frown.

She snorted and quickly covered it up, clearing her throat. “Oh, right. I’m sorry, Blue. It was actually me who was pretty scared. Blue here was really brave and even escorted me to the guest room. For my protection of course.” 

The small hyper skeleton beamed, his chest puffing out slightly, before returning to flipping the pancakes. 

“PFFT! HOW CHILDISH! GETTING SCARED OVER NOTHING MORE THAN SOME CHEAP TRICKS AND OBVIOUS VIDEO EDITING!”

Paige rolled her eyes and turned away from the tall dark skeleton walking into the kitchen. “Good morning to you too, Edge. Nice to see you in such a lovely mood this morning.”

Stretch walked in behind him and sent her a wink before sitting down across from Sans at the island. “Didn’t know you were still here, kid.”

“I wasn’t supposed to be. Blue and Berry insisted I stay the night.”

Stretch eyed his brother. “Did he now?”

Blue’s shoulders rose a fraction and a nervous sweat broke out on his skull. 

“He did. I was going to leave, but they didn’t think it was a good idea seeing as how late it had gotten. I’m glad he did though. It was actually the best sleep I’ve gotten in a while.” She admitted.

He looked taken aback for a moment and stared at her. Again, she got the feeling he wasn’t just simply looking at her. It felt like she was being scrutinized carefully. Almost as if she was being taken apart piece by piece and put back together again. Stretch finally broke his gaze away and his signature slouch took over once more. 

“Heh. That’s my bro.”

“PAPY, STOP MAKING MISS PAIGE UNCOMFORTABLE!”

“AGREED.” Berry walked in with Slim right behind him. His scowl morphed into something akin to horror or disgust when his gaze settled on the young woman. “HUMAN, YOU PUT YOUR FILTHY CLOTHES BACK ON BEFORE THEY COULD BE WASHED!”

Paige frowned and tried to discreetly sniff at her shoulder. She couldn’t smell anything besides her fabric softener. Maybe monsters were sensitive to smell? “Well, yeah. It’s not like I had any spare clothes with me. And I only wore them for a few hours yesterday so they’re not bad. Besides, I live right down the street, so I can just run home and change if I need to.”

Irritation spread over his face as he looked at her clothing. Glad to see he was back to normal after whatever happened this morning. This was definitely the attitude that she was used to.

“HUMANS HAVE SUCH DISGUSTING HABITS.” He sneered, seating himself at the table in front of a plate. 

Never mind. She wanted to weird affectionate version of the skeleton back. 

“What’s your problem? You acted completely different this morning. Is it really so hard for you to be nice in front of other people?” She groused. Besides, it was partly his fault that she hadn’t been able to go home for the night. 

The conversations happening between the other skeletons immediately stopped and all sockets landed on Berry. His shoulders rose and there was a distinct magenta glow emanating from his face. 

“M’lord?”

He tensed further, fingertips digging into the wood of the table. “I-I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT HUMAN!”

“PFFT!!! YOU WOULD DIRTY YOURSELF BY ASSOCIATING WITH THIS FILTH?!” Edge guffawed, bent over with his fist banging against the counter. “THIS LITTLE HUMAN LOVER!”

“I think you’ve got that all wrong…” Paige started. When no one acknowledged that she’d spoken she raised a hand in the air. “Uh…guys? Hello?”

Berry and Edge began yelling at each other while ignoring her protests. A hand came down on her shoulder and she tensed, immediately regretting looking up once she saw the empty black sockets staring down at her.

“Would you care to explain what happened between you and M’lord this morning that was so…different?”

Paige swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and vigorously shook her head. “I-I don’t know what you mean! Oh! Is that my phone?! I should probably step out and take that! Actually, I’m just gonna head home! So, I’ll see you guys later! Bye!”

She stood and quickly stepped around the taller skeleton and made a mad dash for the door, grabbing her shoes on the way out. Jeez, you’d think these guys would stop jumping to so many conclusions!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, like I said. Bad writing is bad. But! Expect another chapter very soon! I promise the next one will be better! Thanks again for your patience!


	7. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Real quick, lemme just put this right here!

I know, I know! I always hated when these things updated and it's only a boring note. But! I felt the need to give a quick update! 

 

I didn't just want to leave this hanging around here with no updates for a few months, but my life had other plans. ^.^'

 

Unfortunately, I have gone through something of a rough patch the last couple of months. I had a death on the family and needed to go out of the current state I live in to give the rest of my family my support, I lost a job then subsequently found another job. This new one is second shift though and has left me extremely tired so I have had little motivation to write or do much of anything else but attempt to conform to my new sleeping schedule. On top of that, there was something of an issue in my relationship that we were attempting to work on. No worries, though! I'm back again! All is well! 

 

I wasn't entirely idle in my time away though! I've been working on new chapters for this story, but it's taking me a little longer to figure out the direction I want it to go and to get it just right! I've also completed several chapters of a brand new story that you can check out if you're interested! I recently discovered the Bittybones AU and let me tell you, the plot bunnies just would not leave me alone! I plan on working on both stories and I promise I will attempt to regularly update both of them!

 

If you'd like to read my other story, it's called There Once Was A Bitty! It's the only other story I have, so not hard to find! I tried to figure out how to add the link but my laptop hates me and doesn't want me to add it here apparently. Sorry! 

 

Thank you for your patience with me and I'm sorry again! 

 

Love, 

Reaper

 

 


	8. Simon Says!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend of Paige's stops in for a surprise visit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm so so so sorry that this took me so long to be able to post! I have no excuse! Forgive me! I'll be trying my best to make sure I update as regularly and frequently as I can! Thank you so much for your patience! I am not worthy!!

Now that Paige had escaped the house alive she was in definite need of a shower. Waking up in the morning and starting her day without one just felt gross and she never felt fully prepared for the day. Quickly ascended the stairs to her apartment, she jiggled the key into the lock. Damn thing was always getting stuck. 

“Guess who?”

Before she could turn to address the sudden voice, a pair of large hands descended over her eyes. In her shock the only thing she could manage to do was scream and swing her bag as hard as she could at whoever had suddenly been pressed against her back. 

“Ouch! Jeez Paige, it was just a joke!” A deep voice croaked, the sudden weight that had hovered over her suddenly disappeared.

Paige snapped her eyes open, staring at the tall dark-haired man that was holding the side of his bicep with a grimace. Her jaw dropped once her mind caught up and she suddenly recognized her attacker. “Simon?! Christ, you scared the hell out of me!” She hissed with irritation, a hand pressed to her chest, trying to will her racing heart to calm down once more.

Simon looked completely unapologetic with a wide smile gracing his features. “Is this how you greet your bestie after he’s been gone for a year? I’m hurt, Paige. Hurt.”

“You’re not hurting yet, but you’re about to…” She seethed and took a threatening step forward. 

“Whoa, easy hon!” Simon blanched and held his hands up in mock surrender, his smile never fading. “What has your panties in a bunch?”

Paige sighed and finished unlocking her door, opening it wide enough to invite her friend inside. “I’m staving and in desperate need of a shower. I’ve had enough stress this morning without you making it any worse.”

“Wait, what happened this morning?” He asked. His hand was then immediately help up with a frown. “Scratch that. Where have you been if you’re fully dressed and haven’t showered yet? Honey be honest with me. Are you on the walk of shame?” 

The brunette’s jaw dropped at the question and she slapped his arm as hard as she could. The resulting yelp and grimace of pain did nothing to console her in the face of her mortification. “Do you really think I’m the type of girl to have a one-night stand?! You should know me better than that!”

“Again, ouch!” Simon grumbled and rubbed at the now bruised spot on his arm with a wince. “And for all I know you could be into orgies or mandingo parties! Woman, I’ve been gone for a year!”

Her glare was still scathing, the hear of her gaze fighting for attention with the heat radiating from her flushed face. She made her way towards her bedroom, not bothering to look back as she continued. He would follow her inside anyway. “For your information, I’m not into anything like that! But to answer your question, I was actually at some new friend’s house. They invited me over for a nice calm movie night and let me sleep over when it got too late.” Simon opened his mouth but she silenced him by slapping a hand over his mouth. “Before you say anything, I slept alone and in the guest room!” 

Simon raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow and promptly removed her hand from his face. “You’re a terrible liar, sweetie.”

“For goodness sake, nothing happened! Besides, they’re all literal skeletons! I’m pretty sure there’s no way to fool around with someone who is made of nothing but bones!” Paige defended with a frown. 

“Frist of all, did you really just say ‘fool around’? Paige you’re 25 years old and you still can’t say the word ‘sex’?” He deadpanned. “Secondly, did you say skeleton?”

“Well, yeah, they’re monsters. Some friends of Alphys and Undyne.” She explained as she gathered fresh clothes and a clean towel from her closet. “They’re actually very nice. Well, except a couple of the brothers, they seem a little more aggressive than the others. I’ve been threatened a couple times now, but I’m pretty sure that’s just them being protective of their family and not really anything against me.” 

“Threatened? Paige, should I be concerned with your new friends? I mean, BP and the girls are cool but these guys sound unstable if they’re threatening you. And you stayed in their house? Alone?” 

“Not any more unstable than we are. If I remember correctly, you threatened to mutilate my ex’s genitals if he ever came near me again.” Paige huffed and she strode into the hallway to her bathroom. “And that was before we even broke up.”

“Alright, touché.” Simon shrugged. “But I would still feel better if I could meet them.”

“We’ll see. Maybe. But only one at a time. Some of them are a little more…edgy. But they’re good in small doses.” She relented. “Now get out of my bathroom and let me shower!”

Simon threw his hands up and stepped out of the small room. “Yeah okay, fine! Sheesh, you act like I’ve never seen you naked before!”

The young woman sputtered in outrage and embarrassment. “That was an accident! We said we weren’t going to bring that up ever again!”

The man laughed and fled down the hall as he dodged bottles of soap and hairbrushes from his irate friend, listening to her outraged cries even after she’d closed the door and the water from the shower was turned on.

Almost an hour later they found themselves sitting back at Muffet’s, only after Paige has insisted they eat here. The first time she’d come with BP she’d developed a strong taste for the food here. Because of this she would be considered something of a regular to the dining establishment, often coming to the small restaurant on her lunch breaks at work. 

“This place is pretty classy.” Simon whistled with appreciation. “I love the décor. The colors complement each other nicely.”

“Right! The food here is amazing!” Paige gushed as she perused the menu. After deciding on her meal, she turned back to her friend. “So, what kept you away all this time? I know interns aren’t usually given much freedom, but they had to have given you at least a little time off the visit home.” 

Simon immediately deflated and sagged against the back of the booth. “You have no idea the hell I went through for this company. They ran me ragged every day for the first few months, doing little menial chores and tasks that had absolutely nothing to do with their work. I was finally able to assist on a building project, but it took too long to complete to the client’s specifications so we had to constantly supervise the rest of the project directly from the buildings location. What I didn’t know before agreeing to assist was that the location had been in Italy…”

“I’m sorry, did you say Italy?!” The brunette gaped. “You got to go to Italy?!”

“Trust me, it was no picnic.” He sighed. “We were months behind schedule and had to work triple overtime to complete everything by the deadline. I was close to getting fired numerous times. Luckily, the client seemed to like me and I could use that to my advantage. Managed to get the deadline extended and keep the peace between my asshole supervisor and the client long enough to make sure the last few weeks of the project went smoothly.”

“Ouch. What were you guys building anyway?”

Simon shrugged. “Some vacation home for some rich white guy. He changed the designs three different times while it was being built.”

“Did you at least get paid for the overtime?” Paige asked.

“Oh yeah, and then some. The pay and the experience were well worth it, but the whole project was nothing but an uphill battle.” He nodded. His shoulders suddenly straightened and he appeared to leer at her from across the table. “But that’s not nearly as exciting as you shacking up with a bunch of skeletons.”

Paige sighed and let her head fall into her hands. “You’re never going to let this go, are you?” 

“Not a chance.”

The brunette groaned. “Sometimes you make it hard to like you…”

“Yeah yeah, just spill the beans already! My life is so boring, the only excitement I have is living vicariously through you!”

“There are no beans to be spilled! I already told you, it got late and they let me sleep in the guest room!” Paige cried in exasperation, throwing her arms in the air over her head. 

Simon narrowed his eyes. “Fine. Keep your dirty little secrets. I’ll just have to sniff them out on my own.”

“Oh please. If you’re so curious then why don’t you go find out for yourself.” She sat up and pulled her shoulders back while attempting to speak in a much deeper voice that mimicked Simon. “Hey there, mind if I ask what you’ve got in your pants?”

“Underwear. Any reason you’re asking?”

The brunette let out an undignified shriek as a deep voice rumbled directly behind her ear. Simon, for all his experience with her overreactions, managed to only flinch at her theatrics. He was much too focused on the sudden appearance of animated talking skeletons to scold her in her attempts to mimic a banshee. 

Paige held a hand over her hammering hear and stared in mortification at the two sets of amused sockets staring down at her. Both Sans and Stretch were leaning over the back of the lilac seat with wide grins. “Dammit you guys! Can you find something else to do other than go out of your way to scare my soul out of my body?!”

“Heh. Sorry, kid.” Sans shrugged. “Didn’t mean to spook ya.” 

“You look pretty rattled.” Stretch added. “Maybe it’s time to lay off the scary movies for a while.” 

“Come on!” Paige groaned. “It’s still too early for puns! Let me eat first!”

“Uh, hello? Chopped liver sitting here ignored.”

Both skeletons looked surprised to see the young dark haired man leisurely reclined across from them. Paige rolled her eyes at his dramatic antics. Simon Caldwell was never one to be left out of a conversation and was almost always the center of attention. 

“Drama queen.” Paige muttered with a smile.

Simon looked positively scandalized. “Excuse me! Drama king! Do I look like I wear drag?”

Pointedly ignoring the offended outburst, the brunette turned to her confused skeletal friends. “Guys meet Simon Caldwell. He’s an old friend from college. Simon, these are two of the skeletons I was telling you about earlier. Tall boi is Stretch, smol bean is Sans.”

“Yo.” Stretch nodded in greeting.

“No handshakes!” Paige interjected when Simon reached for Sans’ outstretched hand.

The small skeleton grimaced, looking put off for his prank being spoiled by the woman. “Come on, Paige, it would’ve been funny.”

“We’re in a diner full of people. I don’t feel like being thrown out before I’ve gotten my food.”

“We made plenty of breakfast. Why didn’t you stick around? Blue was pretty upset that you didn’t stay.” Stretch frowned.

Paige’s smile fell. She hadn’t meant to hurt the small skeletons feelings. She would have to apologize to him later. “Sorry, I’ll make it up to him next time. Slim didn’t seem so happy with me and I thought it best to leave before things escalated. Berry snuck into bed with me in the middle of the night and I’m pretty sure he knew about it before breakfast. He was giving me weird looks the whole time…”

“He what?!” Both monsters exclaimed. 

“I knew something happened!” Simon crowed victoriously.

Shit. She forgot that she’d omitted that from him. “For God’s sake! Nothing happened! The movie probably scared him more than he wanted to admit and he didn’t want to sleep alone!”

“Nope, I’m not buying it.” Simon turned to the other two. “I know she isn’t going to tell me so I’m gonna ask you. You guys can fuck, right? You’ve gotta have something down there that you can use.”

“S-Simon!” Paige snapped, face glowing bright red. She hastily dove across the small table between them and covered his mouth with both hands. “U-Um, so, what brings you guys here anyway? Didn’t you both eat breakfast this morning?”

Stretch was covering his mouth, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Sans cleared his non-existent throat, a distinct blue color dusting his cheekbones. “We came to grab something for lunch before heading to work. We don’t get much of a chance to leave for a break once we get started.”

She nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I get that at work too. I ended up keeping a little snack stash in my office so I can eat between appointments.”

“Are we just going to forget the fact that I asked if you guys had dicks?” Simon huffed as he pried fingers away from his lips. 

“Yes, we are!” Paige hissed through clenched teeth.

“I don’t think I could ever forget this if I tried.” Stretch snorted. “Besides, if this is something you were talking about before – and there is no doubt that you were – wouldn’t that mean that you were curious too?” He raised a boney brow ridge at Paige. 

She stiffened and felt her jaw go slack, mouth moving with unintelligible stutters and sounds. After it had been brought up she’d been curious. Well, more than curious. But she had the decency not to just bluntly ask about her friends’ anatomy!

“N…no…” She muttered lamely, guilt evident in her tone. She winced at how at fault the lie sounded coming from her lips.

Stretch shrugged. He turned to accept a bag that was offered by a petite waitress and looked back her as he stood. “Oh well. That’s too bag I guess.”

Sans smacked a hand over his face and strolled after the chuckling lanky skeleton with a groan. Simon openly gaped after them, looking between the exit and his shocked flushed friend. 

“That…that has to mean they do, right?” He asked.

“I-I don’t know! I don’t want to know!”

“Dammit, Paige! If you’d just used your feminine charms we would probably have been able to see firsthand!”

“Feminine charms?! What charms?!”

“The two hanging from your chest, obviously!”

“SIMON!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last OC to be added, I promise! :) I gave Paige an abrasive sassy gay friend! He's actually somewhat like a friend that I have irl! I felt that his bluntness and closeness to Paige will give things a little bit more of a kick! After all, he has no problems asking the hard hitting questions! Even if they are a bit personal!
> 
> Also, as you may have noticed, I've changed the format of the story from first person to third person! It's a little easier for me to write it that way and I feel personally that it flows better! Let me know what you guys think!


	9. Got a Cold? Snot a problem!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favorite skeletons come to find out that Paige has caught a bad cold and decide to uh...help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Lord, it took me a ridiculously long time to be able to get to this and finish it! So sorry! I hope the shenanigans in this chapter make up for it!

Paige groaned as she opened her eyes, immediately noticing the pressure and discomfort pulsing through her head. As soon as she inhaled to yawn a sneeze escaped her nose, eliciting a chain reaction. Several painful coughed tore through her sore throat, further abusing her swollen and painful tissue. Great. Just what she needed. It had been awhile, but she should have known that something like this was bound to happen soon. Paige wasn’t constantly sick, but colds and fevers did happen several times a year for her. She was especially poor at catching them from other sick people. Unfortunately, it was just the way her immune system worked. It would take a short time to latch onto her, but once fully in her system it would wreak havoc on her body and last twice as long as the average duration period to be weeded out again. With a dejected sigh, she reached for her phone, squinting at the screen as she dialed her office. After a few rings she was greeted with a familiar professional voice. 

“Ebott General Hospital, you’ve reached the Radiology Department.”

“Hey, Diane.”

“Paige? You should horrible.” Diane sighed. Paige could clearly imagine the older woman pinching the bridge of her nose as she usually did when she was stressed. “Don’t tell me you caught that bug that’s been going around?”

“Bingo.” Paige croaked weakly. “I’m probably gonna be out for a couple days.”

“I swear, you have one of the worst immune systems I’ve ever seen. How are you not living in a bubble yet?” Diane groaned. “I’ll let the other staff know. Get better soon, sweetie. You’ll have to make up for it when you get back. The paperwork is gonna be stacked to the ceiling.”

“Yeah, I know. I owe you lunch when I get back, D. Thanks.” 

She didn’t wait for a reply, just ended the call and dropped the phone before rolling over and burying herself in the warmth of her comforter once more. She fully intended to get a few more hours of some much needed sleep.

 

~*~

 

Too little time had passed before her phone was chiming where she dropped it at the edge of her mattress. With a groan, Paige rolled onto her side and fumbled for the loud offending object, grimacing when the screen lit up too bright for her tired eyes to adjust. Christ, had it really been three hours already? She felt like she’d barely slept at all. Toning down her brightness, she squinted at her notifications. More text messages. The first was another unknown number.

 

???: It’s a shame I couldn’t see you today. Maybe next time.

 

She frowned. Was this the same number that messaged her before?

 

Me: Don’t know what you mean. Wrong number.

 

Her next message was actually from none other than Papyrus. 

 

Paps: HELLO MISS PAIGE! SANS AND I WERE WONDERING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COME TO DINNER TONIGHT!   
IT’S SPAGHETTI NIGHT!

Me: That would be great Paps, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it this time. I’m not feeling so good today.

Paps: OH DEAR, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? FEAR NOT, FRIEND! WE WILL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING!

Me: What do you mean?  
Paps?  
Are you still there?

 

Huh. That was a little odd for the exuberant skeleton. Dinner with her friends sounded great, but as it was she had a horrible sinus headache settled in her forehead and temples and she still couldn’t breathe through her nose. Not to mention how horrible her voice sounded. Her vocal chords felt and sounded like they’d been rubbed against a cheese grater; raw and gravelly and painful. At this point it was noon. She might as well get up and take a shower. Maybe it would help her feel better. Paige’s feet padded across the carpet to her hallway and into the bathroom. She frowned at the reflection she caught in the mirror. Hair was tangled and standing up in odd places. Her skin was pallid and she had dark bags under her eyes. Blue eyes stared back at her, puffy and red. Ugh. Now that made her just want to go back to bed. 

Soon enough, she was standing in her room with a fresh pair of shorts and her favorite sweatshirt. Paige tied her hair up messily with a large clip and grabbed the small soft blanket from her bed to drag through her apartment with her. Perhaps she could make some tea or warm milk. Actually, scratch that. Just tea. Milk wasn’t very good for sinus problems and would probably make her mucus-fueled illness even worse. Peppermint or Chamomile should do the trick.

Waddling to the sizeable kitchen with her blanket draped over her shoulders, Paige pulled out the small electric kettle and started to fill it with water. No sooner than she turned it on to boil there came a loud series of thunderous knocks and overlapping voices at the door. She stumbled and frowned, startled by the abrupt noise in her otherwise silent apartment. Who in the world…?

The brunette slowly opened the door, eyes widening at the gaggle of skeleton monsters at her door. “P-Papyrus?”

“HELLO, MISS PAIGE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS BROUGHT YOU DINNER! SOME GOOD FOOD AND GOOD COMPANY WILL HELP YOU TO FEEL BETTER IN NO TIME!” The cheerful skeleton beamed. He held a large box in his gloves hands that she could only assume was the food that he’d mentioned. As for the company…

She leaned around the side of the tall skeleton blocking her doorway to find all 7 of his relatives standing in the hallway. Out of the corner of her eye she could see a few of her neighbors standing outside their doors to survey her sudden visitors. If it was one thing she would always be certain of in this city, it was that people’s curiosity got the better of them. 

“Uh…what are you all doing here?”

“Paps told us you were feeling under the weather today and couldn’t make it for dinner.” Sans supplied with his usual grin. “So, we gathered the whole house to crash your sick day.”

Edge shoved past them and strolled into the apartment with a moody huff. “ARE YOU PLANNING TO INVITE US IN AT ALL OR ARE WE EXPECTED TO MEANDER THE HALLS OF THIS LITTLE HOVEL ALL NIGHT? I WOULD LIKE TO EAT SOMETIME THIS CENTURY IF YOU DON’T MIND.”

Despite her annoyance at his behavior, she hated to admit that he was right. She hadn’t invited them in, just stared at them dumbly from the doorway. She was step aside and open the door the rest of the way. “Sorry, why don’t you guys come in and make yourselves comfortable.”

“THANK YOU, MISS PAIGE!” Papyrus walked in and immediately went to the kitchen. The sounds of clattering pots and pans echoed soon after.

“IF WE WOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WERE SICK EARLIER WE WOULD HAVE COME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU THIS MORNING!” Blue frowned strode in.

Paige chuckled as the short skeleton glued himself to her front, the ridges that made up his nasal cavity tickling her neck as his face was pressed into her shoulder. “I’m not bedridden! It’s just a little bug that’s going around!”

Blue pulled back immediately and started looking around her apartment with absolute horror. “YOU MEAN IT’S BECAUSE OF BUGS?! ARE THEY HERE?! DO YOU HAVE BUG SPRAY?! THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE WILL SEE THAT THESE INSECTS NO LONGER CAUSE YOU HARM!”

For a moment she couldn’t tell whether she wanted to roll on the floor laughing or just repeatedly smash her face into the wall. “Uh, no. It’s not–.”

“BUGS?! WHO HAS BUGS?!” Berry sprang away from the floor, climbing on top of poor Slim like he was a spry skeletal monkey climbing a tree. “HUMAN, WHY WOULD YOU LIVE AMIDST SUCH FILTH?! NO WONDER YOUR BODY IS SO WEAK!”

“Guys! It’s not an actual bug!” Paige rasped. She immediately regretted it as a rather violent coughing fit started up, eyes watering from the painful sting it caused in her throat. She brushed off the sudden concern this elicited from Blue and cleared her throat to speak again. “I-It’s just…an expression. I have a cold that’s been circulating around work. A virus.”

“VIRUS? LIKE THE KIND THE COMPUTER GETS AFTER RED USES IT?” Blue frowned, clearly confused.

The said skeleton erupted in flushed protests from the chair as Paige gave him a somewhat judgmental look. “Uh…no, sweetie. It’s more like when you get dust in your nose and have to sneeze. Something in my body isn’t supposed to be there so it has to work harder to expel it. My immune system is pretty weak though so my body has to fight a lot harder than it would for the average person.” 

Edge suddenly looked suspicious and crossed his gloved arms. “WHY IN ASGORE’S NAME WOULD YOU HAVE DUST IN YOUR NOSE?”

“Jesus, I don’t know, Edge! It was the only explanation I could come up with!” The brunette croaked in exasperation. At this point banging her head on the wall was starting to become quite appealing. 

“Uh…dust has a very different meaning to us sweetheart…” Red’s gruff voice rumbled from where he’d turned away from the rest of his family. 

Paige suddenly felt herself go several degrees colder. Of course! How could she be so stupid! “O-Oh! No! That’s not-! I didn’t-!”

“Yer fine, darlin’.” Slim wobbled, trying to remain steady and upright as his brother continued to scrutinize every surface of her apartment for the ‘bugs’. “We knew what you meant.”

One look at Edge and Red had her scowling. Red was smirking and Edge had returned to ignoring her for favor of perusing her meager items once more. “Okay, screw you both for that. But like I said, it’s just because I’m sick. It’s normal for humans to get colds. They’re usually not serious, but I have the means to treat it if it gets bad.”

“AS I SAID, WEAK!” Berry sneered. He’d managed to clamber up onto Slim’s shoulders by this point, teetering unsteadily on his brother’s hunched shoulders. “YOU SHOULD START TRAINING WITH US ON WEEKENDS! UNDER MY TUTELAGE YOU’LL BE HEALTHY AND FIT IN NO TIME!”

That caught the taller edgier skeleton’s attention once more. “OH PLEASE. YOUR PITIFUL TEACHINGS COULDN’T GET A ROCK TO STAY STATIONARY.”

“SAY THAT AGAIN, YOU FOOL! I’LL CRACK YOUR SKULL THROUGH THE REST OF THE WAY!” Berry snarled, scrambling down from his perch at last.

“JUST TRY IT, BABYBONES!” Edge snapped, eyelights beginning to glow red with magic. His arms were unfurled from their stiff position crossed across his rib cage and were now fisted tightly at his sides, his whole demeanor turning tense and ready to react.

Paige winced at the volume their voices were starting to take on and turned on her heels for the kitchen. She would much rather sit with Papyrus than try to break up another family fight right now. She definitely didn’t have the strength for their shenanigans today. Paps stood at the stove, stirring a steaming pot of ground beef that instantly had the young woman’s mouth watering. Next to him was a pile of tomatoes, garlic, onions, and a few bottles of spices. She hopped up and sat on the counter opposite the stove and watched as he worked, smiling as he started humming an upbeat peppy tune. 

“You didn’t have to come over and do this Paps.” She spoke softly. After her outburst in the other room she was much more conscious of the pain emanating from her head and throat. “But thank you. I appreciate it.”

“OF COURSE, I DID! NO FRIEND OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS STAYS HOME SICK ALL ALONE AND MISSES OUT ON SPAGHETTI NIGHT!” 

The brunette chuckled. “Thanks. How about next time I treat all of you to dinner?”

“That’d be great, kid.” Sans emerged from the small dining room area and leaned against the fridge. “Maybe Paps could give you some recipes to use.”

Noticing her kettle steaming, Paige hopped off the counter and grabbed a mug. “That would be great. I don’t have very many and I could use something different to make.”

“ABSOLUTELY! I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SHARE MY PRIZED RECIPES WITH YOU MISS PAIGE!”

Grabbing the kettle carefully, Paige poured the hot water into the mug. The tea bag sank and began to steep right away, a sweet calming smell rising with the steam to greet her. The first sniff she took caused her to sneeze then groan at the pressure in her sinuses. A tissue was held in front of her face and she quickly grabbed it with a small thank you before blowing her nose.

“Snot a problem.” Sans chortled.

“Was…was that a pun?” Paige chuckled, sneezing again. Thankfully the tissue was still in her hand. 

“Wow, I know it wasn’t the best of jokes but it’s still nothing to sneeze at.” 

“SANS! PLEASE!” Papyrus cried, pointing the wooden spoon accusingly at the shorter skeleton.

Paige laughed again, but her joy was short lived as another coughing fit wracked her body. Her throat started to burn all over again, the sting causing a stream of tears to flow down her fever reddened cheeks. The sound erupting from her throat was starting to resemble a hoarse bark from an old dog at this point. As she wheezed and struggled to catch her breath, she pressed a cool hand to the overly warm skin of her throat. Maybe she should take something for the pain. At the very least she had some numbing spray to help with the odd scratchy feeling that kept her coughing and assaulting her poor abused windpipe. The brunette sniffled and looked up in surprise when she found both brothers standing in front of her, their hands hovering over her without yet initiating physical contact with concern and uncertainty. What she couldn’t figure out was if they were worried about touching her for fear of catching her cold or were scared that she was too frail for them to touch without essentially Falling Down. Wait, could skeletons even get sick?

“MISS PAIGE ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” Papyrus asked uncertainly, worry pinching his normally jovial features.

Sans’ near permanent grin was morphed into a frown. “Yeah, you good kid? You’re almost as pale as me, and that’s saying something. Cause, y’know. Skeleton.”

Paige rasped out a small chuckle, wincing at the twinge even that caused her. “Y-Yeah. Just a bad cough. Nothing some cold medicine and hot tea can’t fix.” Stars, it sounded like someone had taken her vocal chords and run them through a cheese grater. That last fit had taken a pretty big toll on her apparently. “I’ll just go grab some from the medicine cabinet.”

As she started to shimmy forward off the counter, long arms picked her up and held her close to a firm unyielding ribcage. Papyrus had picked her up and was now carrying her perched lightly in one arm, his other coming up to support her back and keep her from falling.

“P-Paps…I can walk to the bathroom just fine on my own.” The young woman wheezed. In all honesty she felt like a child being held like this by her friend.

“NO DOUBT MISS PAIGE! OF COURSE, YOU CAN!” He nodded, turning with a very obvious wink to his chuckling brother. “I AM SIMPLY ENSURING YOU MAKE IT THERE SAFELY! YOU DID APPEAR VERY PALE EARLIER!”

Paige grimaced as they walked out into the Livingroom. Edge and Berry were fighting over her remote, attempting to work her TV, both with equal scowls of hatred on their faces. Stretch was going through her stacks of books and photo albums with Blue jumping up and down to get a look. Slim was already asleep sitting in the chair in the corner, and Red was suddenly and mysteriously absent. As they were entering the hall the others all looked up.

The brunette squirmed uncomfortably in Papyrus’ arms. “Would you guys stop looking at my like I’m dying. I’m fine.”

Blue gave a start. “YOUR VOICE SOUNDS TERRIBLE! WHAT HAPPENED TO IT!”

“Yeah, you sound like Edge but only if he had volume control.” Stretch supplied, oblivious to the murderous glare that was flashed in his direction.

Paige cleared her throat with a small wince that didn’t go unnoticed by the others. “I coughed a little too hard. I’ll probably end up losing my voice by tonight.”

“YOU CAN LOSE THAT?!” The short skeleton squeaked in alarm.

Oh Stars, save her from curious and concerned monsters. She couldn’t say anything without panicking her poor friends. “It’s also an expression, Blue. My vocal chords will be irritated and swollen to the point that it’s painful and difficult to speak.”

“OH.” He responded, looking somewhat bashful for his childish conclusion. “THAT STILL SOUNDS TERRIBLE! HOW DO WE FIX IT?”

Paige shrugged. “I just have to take some cold medicine and drink something warm to soothe the pain. A few days of rest and I’ll be fine. Really, it just sounds much worse than it is.”

“YOU WILL STILL BE ABLE TO EAT, WON’T YOU?” Papyrus asked, suddenly looking unsure.

Paige patted his arm and gave him a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I can still eat no problem.”

That tall skeleton perked up and turned down her hallway straight to her bathroom. Blue followed close behind and entered the bathroom as Papyrus sat Paige down on the edge of her bathroom sink. He opened her mirror and started glancing over the various bottles and boxes littering the small shelves. “WHICH MEDICINE IS IT THAT YOU NEED?”

“I can get it, Paps.” She began leaning over to reach for the box.

Blue reached up with his own gloved hand and gently tugged hers back into her lap with a gently pat. “PLEASE LET US TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING, MISS PAIGE!”

“INDEED! WE WOULD FEEL MUCH BETTER IF WE WERE HELPING YOU, EVEN IF IT’S SOMETHING AS SMALL AS GETTING COLD MEDICINE FROM THE MIRROR!” Papyrus agreed with a quick nod.

Paige blinked. Well, she couldn’t really argue with that. She wasn’t fond of being doted on or babied, but if it would make her friends feel better about the whole ordeal then who was she to say no? “Well, if you’re sure. The cold medicine is on the top left in the pink and white box.”

The taller skeleton smiled and grabbed the correct box, shaking a pill free of its cardboard home and handed it over to her. Despite her amused protests, he wouldn’t let her actually rake the medicine without thoroughly reading the instructions and warnings on the back first. After swallowing the pill dry she stood to go back to the kitchen but was stopped once more.

“MISS PAIGE, WE SHOULD CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES!” Blue frowned.

She looked down at her thin shorts and sweatshirt. They were plenty comfortable and weren’t too short to be revealing. Both her shorts and shirt were clean too. “Uh…why?”

The starry eyed skeleton held up his phone for her perusal. “ACCORDING TO THIS HIGHLY INFORMATION WEBSITE, IF YOU HAVE A FEVER THIS SAYS YOU SHOULD WEAR THIN BREATHABLE CLOTHING AND WEAR A COOL COMPRESS ON THE FOREHEAD OR NECK! YOUR SWEATSHIRT IS TOO HEAVY!”

“It’ll be fine Blue, I have shorts on.” Paige shrugged. “I doubt my sweater is going to make much difference.”

Blue huffed and crossed his arms over the broad expanse of his ribs. “I SWEAR, IT’S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT DOCTORS MAKING THE WORST PATIENTS! YOU SAID YOU WOULD ALLOW US TO CARE FOR YOU AND I WON’T HEAR ANY MORE LIP ON THE MATTER!”

A gloved finger was waggled in her face and he booped her nose before grabbing her hand and leading her to her bedroom. She allowed herself to be handled and lead to the slightly messy closet.

“I would like to point out that I’m not actually a doctor, so…” Paige replied. She quickly hid her smile at the utterly exasperated look she received.

Papyrus stood in her doorway and surveyed her room with a disgruntled expression. “MISS PAIGE, I KNOW YOU ARE SICK BUT YOU STILL SHOULD NOT LET YOUR ROOM BE THIS MESSY.”

“What?” She turned and actually get a good look at the rest of her room and blanched.

Her bed was usually messy and half-heartedly made up so that was no surprise there. Having early mornings and late nights made for rather lazy housekeeping, but she still made something of an effort. Messy bed, check. Overflowing laundry basket, check. Messy desk, check. What really threw her off though was the fact that all her dresser drawers were open and everything in them was scattered on her floor in a heap. Now that was definitely not like that this morning. 

Taking her silence for embarrassment, Papyrus gave her head an enthusiastic but gentle pat. “NOT TO WORRY FRIEND! SANS’ ROOM IS MUCH WORSE AND SMELLS…ER, RATHER SOUR. YOUR ROOM SMELLS NICE THOUGH! YOU JUST REST WHILE THE GREAT PAPYRUS HANDLES THIS!”

Blue turned around to ‘help’ her remove her sweatshirt since apparently, she wasn’t in good enough condition to do anything on her own and helped her pull a t-shirt on over the tank top she managed to keep from getting taken along with her sweatshirt. Papyrus had started walking around her room and was picking up arms full of her discarded clothing and dropping them into her already overflowing laundry basket.

“Paps, you don’t need to do that.” Paige frowned as she adjusted her new shirt.

“OF COURSE, I DO! YOU CANNOT RECOVER PROPERLY IF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT A MESSY ROOM!” He replied as he continued.

“OH! LOOKS LIKE THERE IS SOME OVER HERE TOO!” Blue called and picked up a trail leading behind her open door. “MISS PAIGE, I DID NOT THINK YOUR ROOM WOULD BE QUITE THIS MESSY, HONESTLY.”

“Hey, this wasn’t me, I swear!” Paige quickly defended with a frown. The current state of her room was something of a puzzle to her as well. “It was clean this morning! I don’t know what–!”

She was cut off as Blue closed her bedroom door to get to the clothes that were behind it. Standing in the corner holding an armful of her undergarments was the skeleton that had been missing from her Livingroom moments before. 

“Red?!” She blanched, stifling a small cough as her voice cracked from its sudden volume. “What the hell?!”

“RED, YOU’RE THE ONE THAT RAIDED MISS PAIGE’S ROOM?! FOR…IS THAT...P-PANTIES?!” The indignant speech quickly dissolved into stammers as Papyrus realized what the short sweating skeleton was holding. “TH-THAT’S…WHA…HOW…GAH!” His face erupted in orange light and he quickly averted his sockets.

Red gave a nervous chuckle and winked at Paige’s shocked face before disappearing in a small flash of light. Still holding all of her underwear. She ripped open her bedroom door, hearing the hinges squeak in protest as she rushed to her Livingroom. Rounding the corner, she slid across the floor to an unsteady halt as Red appeared above the couch and fell on top of Edge, Berry, and Slim.

Edge sputtered furiously and shoved his brother onto the floor. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”

“U-Uh, hehe, sorry boss…” Red stood and quickly started to gather his pilfered treasures. 

Edge noticed one of the soft garments stuck to his shoulder and lifted it for inspection with narrowed sockets. “WHAT IS THIS? STEALING FROM A LOWLY HUMAN, ARE WE BROTHER? WHAT COULD SHE POSSIBLY HAVE THAT YOU WOULD–?”

“Uh, Edge…” Stretch covered his mouth, shoulders heaving with barely controlled laughter. He pointed to the fabric littering the floor as Red flinched and started backing away from his brother.

Seeing them for what they were since Red fell on him, Edge gave an ungodly shriek and threw the small article of clothing like it had burned him. “SA—RED! WHAT IN THE NAME OF ASGORE??! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!”

Paige lunged for her underwear, quickly gathering what she could as her face burned with anger and embarrassment. “Guys, can we please stop throwing my clothes!”

Edge scowled and took a threatening step towards his brother, body poised and ready to spring into action. Red flinched and in his panic sprinted for the hall instead of the front door. 

“MISS PAIGE, DID YOU FIND—AH!”

Papyrus emerged and floundered in confusion and shock as Red ran into him, skull bouncing off of thick ribs with a loud clack. Red pinwheeled backwards and the backs of his legs hit Paige’s crouched form and he flew over her onto the floor with a loud grunt and a loud clatter.

“Whoa, you okay kid?”

“MISS PAIGE!”

“YOU IMBECILE! HOW COULD YOU-?!”

The petite woman cried out and coughed violently, struggling to breathe as she was suddenly lifted off the ground and spun away from the sudden gaggle of skeletons gathered around her all speaking with a mixture of concern and anger. 

“I’m okay!” She choked out, grimacing as her throat burned and felt raw all over again. “Put me down! I’m okay, I just-!”

She was interrupted once more when a high pitched wail rang out in her apartment. Everyone scrambled in a frenzy of confusion, the panic starting to build in the more excitable skeletons as their calmer brothers attempted to regain their composure and assure the others. 

“OH MY STARS, THE FOOD!” Someone, she couldn’t tell who, cried out above the other raised voices.

Paige tensed and forced her way out of the tangle of limbs, stumbling and falling to the floor on her hands and knees. Amidst the chaos and noise, she saw smoke billowing through the top of the entryway to the kitchen. 

Her stove was on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised myself I wouldn't be the type of author to leave cliffhangers at the ends of chapters, but here we are! Haha! Dramatics! Yas!


	10. Pizza Joys and Stalking Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paige and Simon go over the events of the great kitchen fire and Paige decides to order a pizza with some unforeseen issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So sorry! Has it really been three months since I last posted a chapter?! Wow, I'm a seriously shitty author! 
> 
> As for the posting blackout, there have been a lot of overwhelming things that happened all at once in my life in the last few months that caused me to put this on the backburner until I could sort them out. I had a rather shocking and sudden suicide within the part of my family that lives out of state, my relationship took a turn for the worst and we're kind of in this awkward limbo at the moment, I lost my job and started a new one, one of my friends moved away to Florida to move in with her long distance boyfriend, and another friend of mine was kicked out of his home and has been staying with me for the past few months.
> 
> Lots of stuff happened one after the other and caused this to get put off for way too long...
> 
> But here we are again! Things are more or less stable now and to be honest I really needed to get this typed and posted so that I could have some kind of sense of normalcy and enjoy something that I love! So here you go! 
> 
> Again, sorry for the long wait, and I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it! Please leave comments, I do so LOVE to read them!! <3

“They caught your stove on fire?!”

Paige chuckled as Simon’s voice cracked over the receiver, adjusting her phone so that it sat firmly between her ear and shoulder so that she could use both hands to fold laundry. “To be fair, it wasn’t on purpose and they did put it out.”

“Paige.” Simon deadpanned with a flat voice. She could picture his frustrated expression even over the phone. “They caught. Your stove. On fire.”

“Okay, I won’t say it wasn’t bad because it was. But the kitchen is fine! Heck, the stove isn’t even damaged!” She admitted, quick to defend the skeletons. “And if it makes you feel any better, they offered to replace it!”

“And let me guess, you turned them down.”

“Well…yes. But I don’t need it! The stove still works and once we cleaned off the stains and charred bits it looks better than it did before!” She shrugged then all at once remembered he couldn’t see the gesture anyway and lowered her shoulders again. “Besides, they all meant well!”

“How is that meaning well?!”

“The food we managed to salvage ended up curing my cold and I feel better than I have in months.” She replied helpfully. 

There was a long pause on Simon’s end and Paige smirked. There wasn’t much he could say if she actually did receive help. And it was true. After eating the partially charred spaghetti she immediately started to feel more energized and less lethargic. Today her symptoms were all but gone. All that was left was the remnants of a stuffy nose, and that she could handle no problem. 

“I’m not gonna say that’s not a huge bonus, because it is.” He finally spoke up. “But seriously, how are you not losing your shit over the fact that your apartment could have burnt down?”

“Because there’s no point in freaking out when everything is already over and nothing bad happened?”

“…. you are a much bigger person than I am.” He sighed. “Anyway, are you going back to work now that you’re apparently magically cured?”

The brunette smirked as she finished putting away the last of her clothing. “Nope! I already called it in so I might as well get a little time to relax.”

A dull chime caught her attention that had a grin spreading across her face. She hopped up and headed for the front door, feeling her stomach clench and mouth water at the thought of the grease coated heaven that awaited her. 

“Speaking of which, I do believe the pizza I ordered is here!”

“Leave it to you to binge on takeout when you’re sick.”

“Not sick anymore, remember?” She snorted. “Besides, I remember a certain friend in college mooching heavily off of my bad binging habits. And getting quite chunky because of it.”

“You said you would never bring that up again!” Simon cried dramatically over the receiver. 

“Yeah, yeah. I felt the need to defend my bad habits.” 

Paige opened the door, cash in hand, but stopped short when she found the space in front of her door empty. Well that was weird. It was definitely her doorbell that she’d heard from her room. If it was a neighbor that was rang, she wouldn’t have been able to hear anything at all. Taking a slight step out, Paige leaned forward enough to peek around the doorframe down the long expanse of the hallway. Still empty. Her apartment was at the very end of the hall. If someone was playing a prank, they’d have had to have taken off running or hid in one of the other apartments to be gone by the time she opened the door.

“Paige?”

The sudden voice in her ear caused her to jump and her heart to jolt almost painfully in her chest. “Y-Yeah, sorry…I guess the pizza isn’t here after all. Weird, I could have sworn it was my doorbell.”

“You don’t see anyone walking away?” He asked.

“No, there’s nobody out in the hall.” She frowned. 

With slight disappointment, she started to close the door, her eyes cast downward as she adjusted her phone again and stopped immediately when she noticed a small brown box sitting on the mat in front of her door. How on earth had she missed that? The package was picked up with a caution and hesitation, but mostly curiosity. Had someone left it in front of her door on purpose? But if that was the case, why run away? Why not just give it right to her? Lifting one of the flaps, she smiled. Cold medicine, a box of tea, a cold compress, and some of her favorite snacks and candies were inside. A care package?

“Actually, it looks like there was a little goodie box left behind.”

“Goodies? This person obviously knows about your poor eating habits. Does it say who it’s from?”

Turning the small brown box over in her hands revealed nothing. No markings or labels of any kind. “No, not even for purchase. Don’t boxes you buy at stores still have the store logo or brand on them?”

“Usually. Even the ones you get in the mail have some kind of sticker of design on them. But then that would mean someone would have had to put it together and hand deliver it to your door. 

“Weird. If that was the case and I was trying to bring someone a gift box then I would at least want to hand it to them myself. Especially if I didn’t put a name or a card on it to say it was from me.” Paige frowned again, checking the hallway again before closing her door firmly and carrying her new prize to her dining room table for further inspection. “There’s some cool stuff in here too. Some kind of jelly sleep mask thing, some chest rub, allergy and cold medicine. It looks like they raided a pharmacy for most of what’s in here.”

“There’s cold stuff in there? Who else knew you were sick?”

“My work supervisor, BP, Alphys and Undyne, and Paps and his family.” She responded after a quick thought. “But Paps and the guys were just here last night. Alphys and Undyne and BP all have work until later tonight. Diana would never come all the way out here to drop off a package like this, she lives in the opposite direction on the other side of the city. Besides the fact that she has no sympathy for my bouts of illness.”

“Pfft. If I didn’t know how bad you got when you get sick then I wouldn’t either.” Simon chuckled. “Those are the only ones that knew? Are you sure it’s no one else?”

“Well, no one else besides you.” Paige smirked. “So, unless you’re playing some kind of elaborate prank on me then I have no idea who this could’ve come from.”

“Definitely not me. I’m in a hotel room a few hours away from you.”

“Again? Simon, please tell me this isn’t for another guy…”

A choked sound came through before there was a rustling of fabric. “Paige, I swear this isn’t just another hook up. I said I was done with those.”

“Oh yeah? So, this is dating or something then?” She rolled her eyes. “How come I haven’t heard about this mysterious stranger?”

“Because I don’t know how serious things are yet.” Simon cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the new topic of discussion. “And I’m not going to introduce just anyone to my best friend.”

“Aww, that’s almost sweet enough to distract me from the fact that you are hours away in a hotel room with a random dude.” Paige cooed, smirking at the groan she received in response. “Either way, good luck and I hope it works out.”

“I can’t wait until you start to see someone and I get to dig into your love life the way you dig into mine.” He sighed. His voice held a hint of venom but the amusement was there all the same. 

“Don’t hold your breath.” Paige snorted. “I’ll let you get back to doing whatever you were doing before. Or rather, who you were doing.”

“Oh my God, Paige! I can’t believe you!”

“Hey, you asked my friend if he had a penis!”

“That’s not the same!”

“It is so the same thing and you know it!”

“Urrghghhh!!”

Paige laughed at the frustrated scream that erupted from her phone before the call ended. She really had only meant to tease him a little bit, but he made it so easy. For all the awkward topics he liked to touch on, he became incredibly flustered when he was on the receiving end. Simon had a lot of bad relationships in college, more than one ending with him getting hurt, and had turned more towards hookups and one night stands. He’d closed himself off from anyone new, never giving anyone a chance, never wanting to take that step towards something more, never leaving himself vulnerable to anyone again. She really hoped that if he was interested in this guy he would really give it a chance this time instead of breaking it off without a second thought like he had with so many before.

With a sigh, she turned back to the nondescript mystery box. It was sweet but she was left with a feeling of unease at not knowing who could have left it. Few knew that she was sick and those same few were the only ones that knew her address. Her job had her address on file but no one had access to that information, only kept on file for security and emergency purposes. Whoever sent it had to be a friend. How else would they knew what kind of tea and snacks she liked? Everything in the box was something she used, liked, or ate regularly. She’d have to ask Diana once she got back to work. Maybe send a text to Papyrus and the girls and ask if it was one of them. 

Another chime startled her and she turned to look at her door. Please, for the sake of her unsteady heart, just be the pizza guy this time. Standing and walking to the door, she took a quick peak through the peephole this time. Sure enough, there was a short teenager holding a large bag in both hand with the restaurant logo printed on the top. Sighing with relief, she opened the door with a weak smile.

“Uh, hi. You ordered a large pepperoni and jalapeno with extra cheese?” The kid asked, looking over the paper in his hand before smiling up at her.

“Yes!” Paige fished her cash back out of her pocket once more, waiting for the guy to take the pizza box out of the insulated bag he carried. “I paid for it over the phone but they said I could pay you a tip for the delivery.”

“Yeah, if you want to. We don’t usually get to keep them since they have us split the tips at the end of the day.” He shrugged, a smiled revealing a gap between his two front teeth.

“Well, that’s stupid. You’re the one making the delivery.” Paige grimaced.

She took the pizza from him and handed him the few bills she had in her hand before taking a much larger one out of her pocket. “Tell you what, why don’t you take that back to them and keep this one for yourself?”

The kid’s eyes widened as he looked at the 20 dollar bill that was suddenly forced into his hand and looked back up at her in shock. “This is more than what your food costs! Are you sure you want to give me this?”

Paige shrugged and gave him a smile. “Totally. I worked a food service job to make extra money when I was in college. Tips made all the difference.”

“Holy…thank you! This is awesome!” 

“What was your name?”

“Oh, my name’s Dwayne.” He replied, never losing the bright smile that had encompassed his face. 

“Next time I order in I’ll be sure to ask for you.” Paige waved to the kid as she stepped back inside her door. “Be careful getting back to work. It’s supposed to rain sometime today.”

“Cool! Thanks! Oh, and say thanks to your boyfriend for me too! If he hadn’t held the door for me I wouldn’t have been able to get into the building! Your buzzer is broken, by the way. Bye!” 

“Boyfriend?” Paige stepped out again to ask what he’d meant but the kid was already running at the end of the hall, turning the corner to the staircase. 

With another frown, she went back inside her apartment with shut her door, making sure the click the lock into place before she sat down at her table. Boyfriend? Maybe he took a guess or something when another attendant had let him in. But why would he assume that it was her boyfriend? Plenty of other women lived here too. At least she wasn’t on the phone with Simon anymore. He would have lost his mind and ordered her to hand the phone off to the poor kid so he could interrogate him and likely scare the poor guy to death. Today was just getting weirder and weirder. 

Her phone suddenly went off on the table next to her. A quick glance at the screen had a shiver going up her spine. The unknown number that kept texting her was once more on her screen.

 

Unknown:  
Did you like the package I left for you? 

 

~*~

 

“Stars, why would you keep responding to messages from unknown numbers?!” Undyne snapped dangerously close to her face, staring down at the phone in Paige’s hands as she went over the messages from the past couple weeks. 

The brunette grimaced, shoulders rising the be level with her ears as her anxiety spiked. “I just thought it was someone with a wrong number! I didn’t want them to keep texting if they thought I was someone else.”

The fish monster groaned and rolled her eyes, shaking her head and punching the bridge of her small nose. “Obviously, this isn’t the case right now. Did you block the number?”

“No, I haven’t done anything other than call you.”

“Good, don’t block the number, just ignore everything you get from now on. In cases of most stalking incidents, blocking a number will only make things worse and cause the issue to escalate. For now, make sure you lock the doors and windows. I already had a talk with the apartment manager and security.”

Paige sighed and felt herself deflate, letting her body slump against the chair she had been perched in for the last hour. After seeing the text message, the mystery box and the comment from the pizza delivery guy were suddenly a little less weird and a little more ominous. She’d called Undyne right away and told her everything, from the point that she’d gotten the first messages, to the strange comments that made no sense, up until everything that had happened that day. The fish woman had scolded her over the phone, fretted and made sure she was alright and safely inside her apartment with the door locked, scolded her again, then hung up with the promise she would be over as soon as possible. A drive that would have taken 30 minutes only took her 12. As concerned as she was that her friend had most likely made several traffic violations on the way here, she was extremely grateful that she’d made it here so quickly. Being a police officer probably helped but seeing as how she wasn’t in uniform and not on the clock, she hoped that her friend wouldn’t get into trouble. Sitting in silence at her dining room table with her phone flipped on and her eyes glued to the door had made her anxiety spike more and more as the minutes had ticked by. 

“I don’t understand how this guy would have been able to make it inside the building anyway. Dwayne said something about the buzzer being broken and some guy letting him in, so he was still here even after the box was dropped off. But why would he say he was my boyfriend?” Paige frowned. Nothing was making sense to her fear scrambled brain. This was the type of stuff that happened on cheesy crime shows or to people that worked seedy jobs late at night and lived in less desirable parts of the city. This had happened in broad daylight during a weekday in what was typically a safe neighborhood. 

“Probably to make himself appear like he belonged here. Something that would make sense and he wouldn’t seem so out of place.” Undyne responded, jotting down notes in the small booklet she kept with her for work. 

“Then why not just say he was another tenant?”

“Because then he has a more personal relationship with you. It means to others that hear this that he knows you intimately and they’ll be more likely to reveal information to him that they wouldn’t give to just anyone that says they know you. The term boyfriend is more open and trustworthy to a stranger who doesn’t know you than just saying neighbor.”

“Oh God…” Paige groaned and let her forehead fall to the table.

“Hey, I know this is scary and it sucks, but you’ll be okay.” A hand was placed firmly on her shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze. “Trust me, I won’t let anything happen to you. This creep isn’t getting anywhere near you again. Alphys is working with the owner to set up a better set of security cameras in all the halls and stairways so we’ll be able to keep an eye on everything.”

The brunette tilted her head to look up at her friend and smiled, still uneasy but infinitely better than she’d been when she’d first looked at the text on her phone. “Thanks, Undyne. You guys are the best.”

The fish monster scoffed and slapped her on the back with a wide toothy grin and eyes sparkling with mirth. “Whatever, nerd! You say that like we would be anything but the best!”

Paige winced and rubbed at what was likely to be a large welt on her back from the rough treatment but laughed along with Undyne, grateful for everything she’d done. She really did have the best of friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious messages are finally revealed to be a stalker!!!! Ewwwwwwww! 
> 
> I also decided that Undyne would be part of the monster police force that was made from the integration of the Royal Guard into the city police since there really isn't a need for the guard on the surface. :) And Alphys is our tech wizard as always! Still not sure what her occupation is going to be for now. Since she was the royal scientists and she's a skilled and creative inventor I may have it be more towards energy development or something like that.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I'll try to have more out soon! Thank you!


	11. Do You Taste As Sweet As You Look?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paige mulls over her recent stalker incident and attempts to confide in her feline friend, finding out about his own dilemma in the process. Also, baking with Alphys and anime rambles before sharing their sweet success with their friendly neighborhood skeletons!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea where I was going with this chapter and the transition between scenes is kind of cut off instead of smooth, but here you go! I might find a way to smooth it out for a better transition later on but for now THERE YOU HAVE IT!!

As Undyne had said, the next day there were cameras installed at both ends of each hallway in the building, including an extra one that had been placed in the corner of the far wall across from her apartment that was aimed directly at her door. The door buzzer had been fixed and the front door reinforced and yet another camera was perched above the door frame and aimed down so you could see who was entering the building. The hospital had been informed of her situation and someone was assigned to escort her to and from her vehicle when she was working. Building security that was stationed in the lobby would have full view of her from the window when she arrived home and were monitoring the cameras daily. All in all, it made her feel much safer, but it seemed like overkill as far as all the security was concerned. When she’d asked the building manager why the security guard was necessary, he’d simply replied that the ‘fish woman’ had said that she would impale him with a spear and leave him out in the sun to fry if anything happened to her under his watch. As much as she appreciated the concern and the extra incentive to make sure she was safe, she wasn’t sure that threatening her landlord was in her best interest in the long run. No amount of apologizing and waving off Undyne’s threat could persuade the man the back out of any of the monsters’ arrangements. 

The cameras and improvements on the front door were a heavy weight that was lifted off her shoulders. One thing kept niggling her in the back of her mind at all time though. The cameras were great and all, but how was anyone supposed to know who it was that was following her if no one knew what they looked like? Paige couldn’t have possibly imagined who this person could have been. She couldn’t remember any confrontations at work or at the store or anywhere else she frequented that would result in someone actually staking her. It almost didn’t even feel like it was really happening. Things like this happened in TV show dramas and scary movies. 

The more Paige thought about it the more it started to give her a headache. Good thing she was a radiologist and not a detective. The brunette sighed as she entered the park, hot chocolate in hand, and made her way over to her favorite bench. BP was already sitting with his own drink, waiting for her to go on break so they could enjoy their usual short chat. Or more lately, she would talk and the cat monster would stare off into space. As soon as she sat down, she started speaking but noticed that her friend almost didn’t seem to notice her presence whatsoever. 

“Boy, have I got a story for you. You’ll never believe what happened today.”

Silence. Amber and gold eyes continued to stare down at the dark liquid rapidly cooling in his coffee cup. In fact, it looked like he hadn’t even attempted to drink any of it yet.

“Some random guy broke into my house and is stalking me. It’s pretty weird. Alphys and Undyne got the apartment set up like it’s Fort Knox now. Cameras literally everywhere.”

Still nothing. BP’s ears twitched and swiveled in her direction when she would speak but he would otherwise not react to her words. She frowned, reaching out a hand to gently lay it on his tense arm. The cat monster flinched and looked up at her with wide eyes, the haze gone from them as he focused on her face. 

“BP, are you feeling okay?” She asked with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He wiped a paw down his face with a grunt and sighed. “Sorry, I guess I’m just out of it. That old tin can of a boss is running everyone ragged.”

Normally she would have had no trouble believing this. Mettaton was notorious for his stores and products being the epitome of high end and sleek. Unfortunately, this meant he worked his employees like slaves most days. BP wasn’t what you would consider a hard worker but he wasn’t lazy either. They butt heads quite a bit. It was almost a miracle that the cat monster hadn’t quit and MTT hadn’t fired him. 

Paige gave him a look that had his ears lowering slightly. “Yeah, I’ve seen you on a 52 hour work week and you weren’t anything like this. What’s going on with you?”

His whiskers twitched and amber eyes closed with a sigh. “I uh…do you think you can give me some advice?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” The brunette sat up a little straighter, giving her friend her full attention. “What for?”

“Well, it’s…you know. For a guy.”

Blue eyes widened. She trampled down the urge to squeal but couldn’t keep the smile from stretching across her lips. “Oooh. Okay, I like where this is going. Do continue.”

“How do you talk to guys so easily?”

“What, you mean like the brothers? I don’t know, I’ve never had issues with talking to strangers. Maybe because of where I work? I have to ask a lot of different people a lot of invasive and personal questions on a daily basis.” She shrugged. But even when she was little she had been outgoing and talkative. She’d been told more than once that she needed to put a lid on it. But if he was asking how to talk to a guy… “Are you asking because you’re nervous talking to this guy or because you never have?”

BP’s eared flattened out and he ducked his head. That was an obvious answer if she ever saw one. 

“Sorry, but really? How is this guy supposed to know you like him if you don’t say anything?”

“Maybe because he’s caught me staring a few times?”

The woman groaned and pressed a hand to her face. “How did you even meet him?”

“He sells nice cream around the park and sometimes stops by the restaurant.”

The park? This park? She quickly scanned the area, eyes darting around in search of anyone near a stand or cart. If there was any chance…aha! Blue bunny monster standing next to a small cart with a large ice cream cone on the front. BP frowned at her tense body language and followed her gaze, his eyes widening and a deep red color staining the fur of his face. She still had no idea how monsters who had fur or no skin at all could manage that, but she was just chalking everything up to magic at this point. 

“H-Hey, you know what we should do? Let’s go try the food at that Muffet place again! I hear they have a new donut that tastes way better than anything MTT brand!”

Paige smirked in delight and BP visibly paled. She immediately grabbed his paw and stood, pulling him insistently in the direction of the small cart. The cat monster stumbled, dropping his cup of untouched coffee and struggled to get his wrist out of her grip. 

“No no no no no! Dammit, Paige! Let go! I can’t do this! Not now!” He stammered, gruff voice cracking when he said her name. 

“Don’t worry, BP! I got you!”

Before he could get another word in edgewise there was another voice that spoke up directly in front of him. 

“Hi, can I get you guys something?”

Fuck! BP wanted nothing more than to sink into a hole and dust, uniform and all. He shuffled his feet and kept his eyes straight down at his feet. There was no way he was going to let Paige have the satisfaction of watching him stumble all over himself after she dragged him all the way over here against his will. 

“Yes, please! Can we get two of…these here!”

“No problem! Here you go!”

Paige took the nice cream she was given with a smile before reaching her free hand out to the smiling blue furred monster. “I’m Paige, by the way. I’ve seen you around but haven’t gotten the chance to try your nice cream yet.”

The rabbit monster took her hand with a smile of his own. “Ben! Nice to meet you! You’ll have to tell me what you think of it!”

“Absolutely! Oh, and this is my friend, BP! Er, Burgerpants!” She hastily corrected, motioning to the stiff cat standing next to her.

The feline flushed and reached shakily for the blue hand that had been extended toward him. “H-Hi…”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Burgerpants! I’ve seen you around! You work at the MTT place, right?”

“Y-Yeah, I run the front counter…”

“I bet you get to meet a lot of interesting people! I’ve been meaning to try some of the food there! I hear it’s really popular!” Ben chattered happily, no at all put off by BP’s lack of enthusiasm. 

Paige grinned victoriously as she ate her nice cream. She was pleased that Ben kept talking even with the stammers and short sentences coming from her friend. She didn’t miss the fact that neither monster had dropped the others hand yet. 

“Well, I gotta get back to work, so…”

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you!” Ben quickly ducked behind his cart and came up with another nice cream, handing it to BP. “Here! As thanks for chatting with me! It really was nice to meet you!”

“Oh, t-thanks…”

BP smiled awkwardly and the two strolled away with a quick wave. Paige noticed that Ben continued to stare after them with a broad smile before turning back to his cart. Once they were almost back to the entrance to the park the feline turned and punched the brunette in the arm with a scowl, ears laid back flat against his head. 

“Why in the name of Asgore would you do that?!”

Paige laughed and half-heartedly fended off his attacks, raising her arms to protect herself. Not that he would really harm her, but she was still wary of how sharp his claws really were. “Relax! You got to talk to him, didn’t you? He seemed to really like you!”

“He’s nice to everyone! You don’t know that means he likes me!” The feline hissed.

She reached over and swiped the extra treat from his paw, turning it over to reveal the phone number written on the side in black sharpie next to a small smiley face. BP’s face turned so red that it was practically glowing. He reached for the small package with wide disbelieving eyes.

“Is…is that…?”

“Sure is! You handsome monster, you! Look at you, wooing the nice cream guy!” Paige teased with a wide grin. “I told you he seemed to like you!”

A nervous laugh escaped him as he took back the frozen treat, staring at the numbers with a small hint of a smile on his face. “Yeah…wow…”

 

~*~

 

Paige chuckled as Alphys rambled from her perch on the countertop next to her. After she’d said her goodbyes with BP the shy monster had called her up to ask if she was free and came right over for an impromptu visit. As she rambled and carried on, stammer-free, about a great new anime she’d discovered, Paige decided that she’d like to try and make the dessert that the short monster was describing in one of the episodes. Hence, why both were continuing their discussion in her kitchen with heaps of ingredients taking up her counter space. 

“It looked so delicious! Everything is better in anime!” Alphys gushes with a light pink tint to her cheeks and a dreamy look on her face, her glasses sliding down her face as she wiggled about in the granite surface. 

The brunette gave her a smirk as she started measuring and pouring ingredient into their individual bowls. “Everything? Including your girlfriend?”

At this her pink flush turned scarlet, contrasting sharply with the pale yellow color of her scales. “W-Well…maybe not everything…”

Paige chuckled and took stock of everything on the counter. “Was there anything else we needed for this recipe?”

Alphys pulled out her phone and skimmed over the screen, following the words with her finger and squinted eyes. “Do you uh…have apple pie spice? It calls for 2 ½ teaspoons…”

“Oh yeah! I forgot about that!” She rushed to her spice cabinet and looked around until she spotted the yellow label and red cap, grabbing it up with a gleeful sound and rushing back over to the cluttered space she’d occupied a moment ago. “Okay! We should have everything now! Can you grab the mixing bowl and beat together the sugar and molasses? The apple cider is heating up on the stove, so once it starts to boil you can add that and the oil and eggs. I’ll start mixing together the dry ingredients.”

“O-Okay!”

Alphys started in on the mixer, turning it on and pouring the pre-measured ingredients into the large stainless steel bowl before turning it on and watching the mixture form slowly. Paige grabbed the flour and other dry ingredients, sifting them all together into a large mixing bowl before folding them together with a silicone spatula. Once the apple cider started to boil, she grabbed the handle on the pan carefully and started to slowly pour it into the active mixer while Alphys added the eggs. 

“Once this finishes mixing, can you pour it into the pan there and put it in the oven? The timer on the over is set for 30 minutes, you just have to push on it to get it to start counting down.”

Alphys gave her a small smile and a nod. She turned back to her remaining ingredients and started to whisk the softened cream cheese and sugar together, prepping the icing for when the cake would be finished baking. 

“What anime was this recipe from again?”

“Ouran High School Host Club!”

“Oh! I’ve seen bits and pieces from episodes for that series! I wasn’t aware that it was about desserts though.”

“Oh, it’s not really! One of the hosts in the club, Mitsukuni Haninozuka, loves sweets and he eats little cakes and desserts throughout the whole series! They call him Honey Senpai because of it too! Oh, and because it’s also a cute name and he’s supposed to be the cute childlike personality! There was even an episode where he-!”

Paige smiled as she listened to her friend continue on about the show, checking the timer every once in awhile as she finished the icing and started to soak some of the dishes for easier washing. Even after the timer went off and she took the pan from the over to cool, the shy monster continued on excitedly. It was one of the nice things about talking anime with Alphys. She was so animated and excited, never once stuttering or stammering . Of course, she would apologize and shrink back into her usual quiet self afterwards, but Paige liked to bring up topics she liked just to see her come out of her shell. Even if it was for a little bit, seeing her friend so happy made her feel a sense of pride. Coaxing her out of her usual quiet meanderings was a feat in itself usually, so it was always an accomplishment if you could get her to relax and enjoy herself. 

“I’ll have to actually sit down and watch this one. It sounds like it’s really funny.” Paige added when Alphys stopped mid-sentence to catch her breath. 

“I highly recommend it! It’s one of the reverse harem types! Such an under appreciated genre!”

“Reverse harem?”

“Oh! So, a harem is when a male protagonist had multiple female characters that pine for him! So, a reverse harem is the opposite! A female protagonist with many male suitors!”

Paige gave a low whistle and took out a round cookie cutter, cutting small cake rounds out of the finished batch and setting them off to the side to finish cooling. “Sounds like a lot to handle. I can’t imagine having multiple guys competing for me. Sounds like a lot of stress and complications.”

Alphys became uncharacteristically quiet when she was mid- anime ramble. The brunette turned to her to see her staring at her shirting feet and poking her fingers together the way she always did when she was nervous. 

“Alphys?”

The monster tensed and looked up over the rim of her thick glasses with a nervous smile. “O-Oh! Yeah! S-Sounds like a lot to handle, doesn’t it?”

Thinking she’d made her friend uncomfortable with her choice in anime, she was quick to correct and offered a large smile. “Of course, that’s also got to be pretty fun too! I bet the show is full of fluff and all those hilarious awkward moments between each guy right? I love seeing them try to figure their way through the embarrassing stuff!”

“Oh, yeah! That’s my favorite too! That and seeing the relationships between each character start to progress and come to a head!”

With a suppressed sigh of relief, Paige scooped icing into a large bag and cut off the corner, twisting the end of the bag and squeezing out a generous amount onto each circle and instructing Alphys to place a second circle on top and pressing it down lightly. 

“Now that a couple apple slices and lay them in a circle on top there.”

Alphys did as she said, spreading the slices in a small circle then putting a small dollop of icing in the center and sprinkling it lightly with cinnamon.

“And done! I know it’s not exactly the fancy strawberry tea cakes that you always talk about, but I always thought apple cider and cinnamon tasted better.” Paige shrugged as she wiped down the counter with a damp paper towel. 

“They look great though!” Alphys gushed, taking pictures of the mini cakes with her phone from varying angles. “I-I’m going to send a picture to Undyne! And post this all over my Undernet account!”

Undernet turned out to be the next big thing when society started to accept monsters and some of their underground culture. It was huge on the surface, and while some tried to copy its format and make their own spin-off versions of it, it still remained one of the most popular messaging and sharing apps you could download. Alphys had a huge fan following that loved all of her posts and more humorous monologues about her favorite Mew Mew Kissy Cutie movies. 

“I’ll do you one better! Why not take her one? I’m sure she’d love to try one, especially if you made it!” 

Before Alphys could respond past her blushing stutters, Paige had already grabbed a small pastry box she kept in her pantry, folding it open and placing two of the small delicate looking cakes inside and handing it to her friend.

“W-Well…b-but I…!”

“We made a lot of them, Alphys.” She smiled. “I was going to tell you to take some home anyway! Just take some to your girlfriend and enjoy them!”

Speaking of sharing, now that she thought about it, sharing the cakes with Papyrus and the others would be a nice thank you for helping to take care of her while she was sick. It had been a few days since she’d been able to talk to any of them and truthfully she’d started to miss the banter and puns. 

“And before you refuse, I’m going to be taking some to Sans, Papyrus, and the others anyway!”

Alphys stopped and looked down at the cakes in her hand before sighing and smiling up at the brunette. “Thanks Paige. I-I guess I’ll go now since…uh, Undyne is going to be getting off about now. You know…”

“I know. Go give her a nice big smooch, yeah?”

Alphys squeaked and shuffled quickly out of the kitchen, hiding her glowing red face behind the white pastry box as she fled for the door, Paige’s laughter following her. Turning back to the rest of the finished pastries, she grabbed more of the small boxes and started to open and fold them out. She should have just enough to give one to each of the skeleton brothers. Pulling out her phone, she sent a quick text to Papyrus. It was still just before noon on a weekday so they’d mostly still be at work. Maybe she could go out and surprise them. The thought instantly put a smile on her face and she got back to prepping as she waited for a response from the tall exuberant skeleton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BP and Nice Cream Guy are one of my favorite ships ever in the Undertale fandom and I am absolutely smitten!! <3
> 
> I never knew what his name was this whole time, and everything I've found has said that he's just called Nice Cream Guy or people make up their own name for him, which I also decided to do for the sake of my own little fanfiction here. I really liked the name Ben for him because it just seemed to suit him the more I thought about it, and because it reminded me of Ben & Jerry ice cream! SO I DUB THEE BEN!
> 
> Also, if you're curious about the cakes that were made in the chapter, I found an online recipe and tried it and it is delicious! Didn't use the strawberry cakes that were actually in the anime because I'm allergic so this was my substitute! Here's the link for the Mini Apple Cider Cakes! 
> 
> \---> https://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/mini-apple-cider-cakes-recipe

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! Intro is done! Yeah, in real life I could totally see myself being best friends with Alphys and Burgerpants. They are both me most of the time to be honest. :) On with the matchmaking! Who is it that they want Paige to meet? Hint: it's one of the skelebros! If you keep reading you'll find out! Suggestions and ideas are welcome!


End file.
